I Am Going Through a Break-up

My partner and mother of my child just hit me with the whole i don't think I'm in love with you anymore. And says she has no romantic feelings for me but is hoping they come back. Have just started renting and are now stuck for the next 12 months. I still have feeling for her but am unsure what to do. Do i try and rekindle her feelings that may or may not come back or just let my feelings go?

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greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

Being "in love" is a temporary feeling; it is a courtship mode of thinking and feeling and it is not meant to last. Ideally, it gives way to a more mature kind of love based on companionship, partnership and the joy of having someone in your life who cares deeply about you and puts you ahead of others in your shared life. Sparks remain, and a bit of romance still lives in such a relationship, but the intensity of being madly in love has given way to living a shared life with a cherished partner.

Like so many these days, she is thinking like a teenager if her leaving you is about no longer being "in love." Either that or there is something she is not telling you about this break up.

xixgun · M

Hope for the best but prepare for the worst. And don’t take on the entire task of fixing things, you let her know that her actions have repercussions too (like your being stuck in a lease). If you take all the blame now, she will remind you that it’s “all your fault”, every time there’s a problem

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

I'm sorry to hear all this.

I can advise you two things. Try to rekindle your relationship with her but be prepared for anything that can happen.

Justiceforall · M

What was it that drew you to her, if you can remember what it was that might help you to rekindle the flame. Treating her like it was the first time you knew you were in love with her would to, romance leaves a relationship and sometimes can't be rekindled especially if it has been in the slump a long time, but treat her like everyday is the first day you feel in love. If that doesn't help I don't know what else to say except move on.

Egg01 · 56-60, F

Yes try, don't give up. Not yet anyway. Good luck, I hope it works out best for everyone.

Fernie · F

Are you still feeling in love with her? Doesn't seem like either one of you feel the old feelings. Then it's time to move on I think...I believe that once those feelings are gone you can't really get them back...couples counseling would help you figure it out

Theresia · 31-35, F

Hii Sorry for that...My advice is rekindle with her..Just trying your best effort. I believe she will accept you again

CharlieZ · 70-79, M

When a partner asks you for "space", buy them an astronaut suit and send them to visit the Asteroids Belt.

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