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I Have Been In An Abusive Relationship

May 14. 1992.
A day that will live with me forever!
Had been with my emotionally unstable partner since '87.
We'd had our ups and downs. Arguments, rows, etc. but this day would see the end of what there was of our relationship.
She was unhappy. Money was tight. We had three small children. I was at work 60 hours a week. We were maxed out on the credit cards and at this point she decided that she wanted to vent her frustration.
So the argument started over my need to go in for that days shift.
I said we needed the money. She said I didn't care about how she was feeling.
I said, somewhat stressed as I knew where this was heading! That I needed to get to work!
As I continued to get ready. I bent down to tie my shoes. When with no other provacation. Felt something heavy and hard hit the back of my neck.!
I look up and see her stood over me with a broom handle raised above her head!
The second or maybe third blow rendered me unconscious.
I wake up to two paramedics and a police officer in the room!
But she and the children were gone.!
I groggily gave a statement. It seems the neighbours had called the police and my father because they thought we were being burgled!
So I then have to call work and say I'm unwell(no point in telling the world your troubles. I got judged enough as it was!)
I then black out again and wake up panic stricken in hospital later that day!
I think that's only the second time I've ever written it down!
Anyway. The police found her. She was arested and charged. The children went to my father and his wife while I was in hospital.
Which was for three weeks!
Eventually I had to go to court as part of her prosecution. That was more traumatic than anything else I'd been through!
She had a nine month sentence which the judge was going to suspend before he read the ER doctors report which arrived late!
122 bruises and lesions. 43 stitches to 6 different wounds. One broken arm where I'd tried to defend myself.
Ugh!
And when you try and explain to ANYBODY that you were a battered husband. People look at you like you're swearing blue is pink!
Picklebobble · 56-60, M
Thanks for the responses folks.
She went to jail! Where they say she received counselling!
Some years and several therapists later. She sent me a letter via her lawyer.
In it was some sort of apology and an explanation that just read like a list of excuses for her behaviour.
Maybe that's a little unfair.
I'm allowed to be unfair though. Right?
I did get custody of our children. And it was nearly two years before they saw her again.
But even THAT was a fight!
Try being a single dad trying to get custody of your own children!
That tests the patience of men more reasonable than I.
The children themselves these days are all grown up and parents themselves. All married to great partners. And in good careers.
So maybe I did something right.
Primnproper · 56-60, F
I ran a women's refuge for 7 yrs and I can tell you the assaults on men are just as serious even more so, men use their fists they have power behind them, women use objects like knives, saucepan so the injuries to men can be that more severe..man or women the scars we carry are the same..
Special2No1 · 56-60, F
I think abuse can work both ways, it isn't just females who are the victims.I'm sorry you were a battered husband.
It is hard to recover from any abusive relationship, and when kids are involved it's worse.
I hope that she was made to pay for the injuries she inflicted on you, including your medical bills.
GeniUs · 56-60, M
Always helps to write these things down and share them if you need to. I trust you got custody of the children? (I know this should be a 'given' but you never know).
uncalled4 · 56-60, M
Our culture has vilified men and shielded women from culpability, but in reality, women are just as capable of inflicting harm. Sorry you had to go through that. No one should be hitting on anyone.
SW-User
I am so sorry you had to go through this. Battered husbands exist, less than battered wives but they do. I am sorry you were one of them.
Sharon · F
Actually that's not true.

All the independent, peer reviewed academic studies of domestic abuse show that female on male abuse is at least as prevalent as male on female. Approximately 30% - 40% of domestic abuse related deaths are women killing a male partner.

I've been called a misogynist for saying that. :)
Picklebobble · 56-60, M
Thisisme: Thank you.
Still working on the looking for love thing.
Although I think I'm too used to my own company these days.
Did make me very anxious for a long time afterwards.
But, we'll see!
Thisisme · 51-55, F
That is just terrible ... I am so sorry you had to experience that. I hope you've managed to find love and happiness since that traumatic time xx
Soulspace · F
Felt extremely disheartened to read your story.
Hope she has left you for good.
Hope you are doing fine now.
Holy hell. That's awful.
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