Confronted to soon-to-be-ex about SA abuse!
So ...... it's been mercury retrograde for a little while. I was feeling so emotional, staying silent about all the emotional and other abuse. Finally, I texted my husband/future ex that I did not forgive him. He asked me what was going on. He forced me into his room to talk. I told him he had raped for five years of our marriage.
He said he does NOT remember.
Oh, the irony.
He accused me of describing something that happened in my childhood. He claims he didn't rape me, but maybe someone else did. Then he said that my psychic abilities are all wrong, and I am getting my information from the wrong source, etc.
Some of my worst memories, and he does not remember. He asked me why he didn't remember. I basically said he hates me, and I hate him. He went into great detail about all the white women he has cheated on me with, rubbing it in my face. Finally, he said it was just a mistake. After years and years of him humiliating me and making fun of me for having a white mom, especially a white mom who was addicting to crack. I told him I needed to study afterward.
He says that he is devastated to learn that I hate him. He's trying to act nice by doing things that husbands and fathers are supposed to do, which is the bare minimum. While I am here still stuck paying all of the bills.
Sorry for the trauma dumping. There are not many people in my life that I can talk to about this. On the upside, I feel so relieved now that I am not holding it in and staying silent anymore. I know this will cause destruction around me. I don't care. I don't even care that I am the villain. Anything feels better than staying silent forever on the abuse that I have suffered.
He said he does NOT remember.
Oh, the irony.
He accused me of describing something that happened in my childhood. He claims he didn't rape me, but maybe someone else did. Then he said that my psychic abilities are all wrong, and I am getting my information from the wrong source, etc.
Some of my worst memories, and he does not remember. He asked me why he didn't remember. I basically said he hates me, and I hate him. He went into great detail about all the white women he has cheated on me with, rubbing it in my face. Finally, he said it was just a mistake. After years and years of him humiliating me and making fun of me for having a white mom, especially a white mom who was addicting to crack. I told him I needed to study afterward.
He says that he is devastated to learn that I hate him. He's trying to act nice by doing things that husbands and fathers are supposed to do, which is the bare minimum. While I am here still stuck paying all of the bills.
Sorry for the trauma dumping. There are not many people in my life that I can talk to about this. On the upside, I feel so relieved now that I am not holding it in and staying silent anymore. I know this will cause destruction around me. I don't care. I don't even care that I am the villain. Anything feels better than staying silent forever on the abuse that I have suffered.
36-40, F
