I Have Been In An Abusive Relationship

I grew up in a dysfunctional family. My father was abusive physically and mentally. My mother is schizophrenic and living with them both caused me to live in depression and anxiety. I grew up with my father constantly calling me a piece of shit. I never felt like I was good enough for anyone. I've never been in a relationship and don't think I ever will. I have low self esteem and I can't see anyone ever really wanting to be with me like that. I don't want to give my all to someone just to be left heartbroken. I've been through so much that mentally I don't think I can take that. I feel fragile and I'm holding on to a string. It breaks my heart because I always wondered what it felt like to have a loving family and to be loved and wanted. I wish to meet someone who is the opposite of my father.