I Have Been In An Abusive Relationship

It's not only the guys that are abusive. My last 2 relationships was abusive towards me it was horrible I felt like I couldn't tell anyone as some people don't realise females can be abusive to. I am the type that would put up with anything just to be with someone I put up with being ignored wen out together with her friends, being hit, slapped, called things and even turned her friends against me resulting in people calling me threatening me down the phone and I still stayed with her until my birthday nearly 3 years ago wen the first message I had was it's over! that really felt like a weight had been lifted that was my last relationship but really really need love in my life but it's still always on my mined what happened even now wen someone goes to give me a hug I flinch :-(