talked to ryan a few minutes ago…

i was expecting a call from my cousin tonight, so when my phone started ringing, i answered without even looking, fully expecting it to be zoey. nope… it was ryan. 🙃 ugh.

he sounded a little drunk, but honestly, it was a surprisingly pleasant conversation. he said he wants to have our baby for a full weekend. i explained that, right now, i’m just not comfortable with that. he cut me off and said he’s her father and he has rights.

i told him i understand that, but given our history and everything that’s happened, i just don’t feel comfortable sending her for an entire weekend right now. there’s been violence, yelling around the baby and about the baby, comments like “i don’t give a fuck about that baby,” and even a pacifier being thrown in her direction… so yeah, i have my reasons for feeling the way i do.

he then asked, “can you at least let me see her for a few hours this weekend? supervised, if that’s what it takes?”

we agreed. so sunday afternoon, i’ll be taking her to see him for a few hours with supervision. i’m still incredibly torn about everything, but i’m trying to do what i feel is safest and best for my baby while also allowing her to have a relationship with her dad. 🤍