how can i handle the worry and desperation that i'll never get what i've always desired

in my late 40s now and missed out so far on finding a steady girlfriend, because i had a difficult social/ mental problems & possibly autism too and my life took a hard path, missed out on meeting the girls i would've wanted to socialize with, have relationships with... i did have quite a lot of sex & flings with girls in my mid teens though, again with girls i desire and are attracted too, pale busty blonde girls, brunette girls, and had sex with two goth girls i knew at that time.....i stick within my own race and only fancy white girls.

but basically, because overall i've missed out, never had a relationship with the type of girls i like, fancy and wanted to meet & now im 48 and still dealing with my mental health, live alone...with my elderly mum and other loved ones who live far away, they are my only support system now......i worry and feel desperation that i'll never find the type of girl that i've always wanted a relationship with? the type of woman i've described above?

because i don't want to interact or socialize with anyone else outside of that description, i know it might sounds strange, but that's how i feel about it..

and i'd feel devastated if i could never find those relationships i wanted and always desired? i couldn't handle it if that didn't happen....that still must happen in my eyes, because it's my biggest desire.

any thoughts on this?

MayorOfCrushtown · M

probably stay away from those mid teens........ that kinda thing usually goes south unless you are looking at 8 or 9 0s on your bank ledger. you can achieve your dreams though. i have overcome quite a bit to achieve success. my big right toe nail took out about 80 percent of the potential dating field, but, thanks to my witty disposition, i have crossed the finish line.

ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F

Do you have any hobbies or interests? What do you enjoy doing? I've often met people and become friends or lovers with those with whom I share common interests. Maybe join some in-person groups like going to trivia or hiking or wine tasting or singing or whatever your interests are and make friends that way.