To be fair. To be fair. To be fair. He was probably a red flag.
I asked him if I can forward his CV to someone I know on more than one occasion, as his current boss seems to keep him down where he is, there's no progress. He refused, saying that Chinese people make cruel bosses, and his boss is the best, he's a friend, he's so nice, blabla.
Dude, I've never had "good bosses", I've cried most days at work. The other choice was to be jobless, as in my field, it's a small world, everyone knows everyone. Even if you're in a different country, somehow the same names keep coming up. You have to hide your tears, smile and be strong, build your CV, and move on to a higher placement. Life is cruel in general. I think he was too comfortable where he was, which probably is not good. His boss wasn't paying him well either for the long hours he worked.
Second, he demanded that I apply for a job in a country that was "closer to home" because he wanted to be close to his parents. I told him it's not in my control, it depends on where I get a job, every country has its own labour intensive process with their own barriers, and I am already starting over in this new country, and I feel I might continue here if things go okay. Jobs are hard to come by, and I can only do my best. Can't "choose" countries leisurely. I told him time will tell where I get the job, and what opportunities open up and I can't promise anything and that it's an unfair demand to make to someone who is already working her ass off while studying full time in a whole different country, trying to survive. He got offended.
I told him we can always take a flight home if something happens, but he said 16 hours is different than 4hours flight time. I told him flight delays can happen and a 4hour flight can turn into 10hours, and then what shall we do? I told him we could be vacationing when something bad happens back home and then it would still be 16hours, and then what shall we do?
Buttttt he just really wanted to be close to his parents.
He also told me he doesn't like cooking and that he will not be helping in the kitchen. He told me he can do everything, groceries, run errands, whatever, but he doesn't like cooking or washing dishes. I told him I can do groceries and run errands too, and we'll have to share tasks, I'm not the one to always cook as I'm working full time as well. But he said he would not.
Well, maybe he was a red flag.
I was a red flag too:
He said I never visited him once in these 2years. Which is true. I was so busy and obsessed with work and excelling in academics, that I dedicated every minute to it. I lost touch with friends in the process, and my boyfriend and I were talking less and less. I regret it. He thought I was abandoning him. He complained to me too. I always told him we will talk after exams. I was so afraid of failing, because I would fall behind in my career if I did.
I am stuck in a rat race. That's partially why I lost him. I don't know how people do it? How do they have families and excel at work? And finish their degrees? How do they do it? I could barely take care of myself!
Dude, I've never had "good bosses", I've cried most days at work. The other choice was to be jobless, as in my field, it's a small world, everyone knows everyone. Even if you're in a different country, somehow the same names keep coming up. You have to hide your tears, smile and be strong, build your CV, and move on to a higher placement. Life is cruel in general. I think he was too comfortable where he was, which probably is not good. His boss wasn't paying him well either for the long hours he worked.
Second, he demanded that I apply for a job in a country that was "closer to home" because he wanted to be close to his parents. I told him it's not in my control, it depends on where I get a job, every country has its own labour intensive process with their own barriers, and I am already starting over in this new country, and I feel I might continue here if things go okay. Jobs are hard to come by, and I can only do my best. Can't "choose" countries leisurely. I told him time will tell where I get the job, and what opportunities open up and I can't promise anything and that it's an unfair demand to make to someone who is already working her ass off while studying full time in a whole different country, trying to survive. He got offended.
I told him we can always take a flight home if something happens, but he said 16 hours is different than 4hours flight time. I told him flight delays can happen and a 4hour flight can turn into 10hours, and then what shall we do? I told him we could be vacationing when something bad happens back home and then it would still be 16hours, and then what shall we do?
Buttttt he just really wanted to be close to his parents.
He also told me he doesn't like cooking and that he will not be helping in the kitchen. He told me he can do everything, groceries, run errands, whatever, but he doesn't like cooking or washing dishes. I told him I can do groceries and run errands too, and we'll have to share tasks, I'm not the one to always cook as I'm working full time as well. But he said he would not.
Well, maybe he was a red flag.
I was a red flag too:
He said I never visited him once in these 2years. Which is true. I was so busy and obsessed with work and excelling in academics, that I dedicated every minute to it. I lost touch with friends in the process, and my boyfriend and I were talking less and less. I regret it. He thought I was abandoning him. He complained to me too. I always told him we will talk after exams. I was so afraid of failing, because I would fall behind in my career if I did.
I am stuck in a rat race. That's partially why I lost him. I don't know how people do it? How do they have families and excel at work? And finish their degrees? How do they do it? I could barely take care of myself!
31-35, F
