The divorce wasn't painful
And yes I know I was one of the lucky ones
Was married to her 18 years. I forgave her 4 times for cheating on me because I loved her. And later I lost seckshuel attraction to her, then suddenly she asked for a divorce
I said sure. I was just too damaged inside to go on yet tortured. Thinking of when we first met and all we'd been through together. But the effects of the adultery and her flirting with other men had taken its toll. All I wanted was someone to enjoy life with. But it's too late. She had been talking to a 74 year old man who she had secks with when she was 13. They'd been talking for weeks without me knowing. Suddenly he drives down to Colorado and picks her up, and that was it.
I can't believe I was able to stay calm and collected.
So they drive away and I'm left for dead.
But I had previously prayed to God that if it ain't meant to be, please free me, and he did.
I was in too much agony.
So I got a girlfriend a few months later and things were exciting, passionate and active for 2 years until my job closed down and I became homeless, camping out in my vehicle at camp sites, she moved in with her sister and I never saw her again. Ok. Well then, time to move on. So I moved down here to Fort Myers in the back room of my mother's house who was fighting cancer (and beat it). She's doing ok at 76 today btw. I just help her with stuff she can no longer do and I get cheap rent but I been here and alone with the same job for over 2 years now working nights as a security rover in Bonita Springs.
I get lonely sometimes I want to find someone just to enjoy life with but then I'm reminded my worth by my past and current circumstances. So I gave up and developed hobbies and focused on me for a change. It's gotten better, but I'm not going to lie and say it's perfect. There's times I really wish I could be someone's Johnny angel and someone I could make my everything but I net around 2k a month lol. Yeah right.
I'll live and die alone. The standards of older women my age are beyond me and younger women aren't mature or know what they want. I'm an action person, expressing through action really and not words. Maybe that's the problem, but then if you express through words they call it simping. A lose lose.
Everyone I've been with has made me feel like I should be different, someone else, etc and I remember that, and it reminds me how crappy relationships are. Well, I am enough! And I am just fine the way I am. And that's the way it's gonna be.
So I work, come back, do hobbies and get on here. Nothing else really. So at this point I feel that women are placed here as a cruel joke to men. You fall in love, they move on. You can't validate them and must make things mysterious to keep them. Too much work if you ask me. If it ain't real and simple I don't want anything to do with it. Excuse me for wanting to be happy and make someone else happy.
Was married to her 18 years. I forgave her 4 times for cheating on me because I loved her. And later I lost seckshuel attraction to her, then suddenly she asked for a divorce
I said sure. I was just too damaged inside to go on yet tortured. Thinking of when we first met and all we'd been through together. But the effects of the adultery and her flirting with other men had taken its toll. All I wanted was someone to enjoy life with. But it's too late. She had been talking to a 74 year old man who she had secks with when she was 13. They'd been talking for weeks without me knowing. Suddenly he drives down to Colorado and picks her up, and that was it.
I can't believe I was able to stay calm and collected.
So they drive away and I'm left for dead.
But I had previously prayed to God that if it ain't meant to be, please free me, and he did.
I was in too much agony.
So I got a girlfriend a few months later and things were exciting, passionate and active for 2 years until my job closed down and I became homeless, camping out in my vehicle at camp sites, she moved in with her sister and I never saw her again. Ok. Well then, time to move on. So I moved down here to Fort Myers in the back room of my mother's house who was fighting cancer (and beat it). She's doing ok at 76 today btw. I just help her with stuff she can no longer do and I get cheap rent but I been here and alone with the same job for over 2 years now working nights as a security rover in Bonita Springs.
I get lonely sometimes I want to find someone just to enjoy life with but then I'm reminded my worth by my past and current circumstances. So I gave up and developed hobbies and focused on me for a change. It's gotten better, but I'm not going to lie and say it's perfect. There's times I really wish I could be someone's Johnny angel and someone I could make my everything but I net around 2k a month lol. Yeah right.
I'll live and die alone. The standards of older women my age are beyond me and younger women aren't mature or know what they want. I'm an action person, expressing through action really and not words. Maybe that's the problem, but then if you express through words they call it simping. A lose lose.
Everyone I've been with has made me feel like I should be different, someone else, etc and I remember that, and it reminds me how crappy relationships are. Well, I am enough! And I am just fine the way I am. And that's the way it's gonna be.
So I work, come back, do hobbies and get on here. Nothing else really. So at this point I feel that women are placed here as a cruel joke to men. You fall in love, they move on. You can't validate them and must make things mysterious to keep them. Too much work if you ask me. If it ain't real and simple I don't want anything to do with it. Excuse me for wanting to be happy and make someone else happy.
