Asking
Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

What should i do?

My friend & her guy have been talking for 1½ years. He came to visit in july for work, but after that the dynamic changed and he started acting more distant leaving her to react more insecure/clingy. They had alot of arguments but worked through most of them..they cant be together tho bc of cultural reasons but they both care about each other alot. Anyways in october they had an argument & he hasnt spoken to her since. She still misses him & worries about him so shes thinking to buy a plane ticket to his city ($500) from friday-sunday. To see him, talk it out, & if hes done at least thats closure, she can move on knowing hes okay...

I told her that might be selfish on her end bc he wont respond to her texts so that means he wants space...but shes saying maybe he deleted his social media or silenced his phone bc she asked his friends to nessage/call him to see if hes okay but he wont respond to then either, so thats why hes not seeing her messages maybe. I dont think she should do this, i think maybe she has good intentions but i just have a bad feeling overall. I want her to be happy, shes been the worst ive ever seen her, and i do hope seeing him in person will help them rekindle & fix things...but i just dont really think that will be the outcome. I get she wants to show him she cares & they can both stop hurting if they jus talk but I jus think doing this can also push him farther bc maybe hes already moved on and seeing her would ruin all his progress which could lead to resentment on his end & her getting more hurt. I dont know how to help her & im scared if it doesnt work out like she thinks it will, what she'll do (not like she'll intentionally do anything but jus what that pain will drive her to do). I love her sm & if she wants to show him she cares she should but idk why my gut is telling me this isnt a good idea...
This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
You are right to dissuade your friend from seeing him or forcing a conversation with him right now. It sounds like he might have blocked her from social media and his phone, so double check with friends to be sure. If the profile is there, it means he blocked her. If he has blocked her, it means their argument was bad enough that he broke up with her and probably wants nothing to do with her at this point.

The best thing your friend can do is wait for him to reach out instead of trying to reach out to him. Painful memories of the fight are dictating their actions right now and until he can get past it, there's nothing she or you can do.
Bananana · 22-25, F
@GohantheThird i dont think he blocked her but yes i agree, i told her to let it go. But she thinks if she lets it go longer shes scared theyll never be able to recover from this, and that he will think she doesnt care about him. I think its been almost a month of no contact.
@Bananana You need at least two months before trying to establish connection again. I gave it at least two months with my ex, now she blows up my twitter feed almost once a week. I had mutual friends trying to parent trap us too, but ultimately it's going to be up to her to work things out.

It's always best to let the dumper reach out to you.
@Bananana He has already shown her his true colors. She needs to accept that.
Bananana · 22-25, F
@GohantheThird yeah i agree, especoally if someone ghosts, thats like the harshest degree to being dumped. I think in her mind she just cant accept he would do this to her. Its so sad but sometimes we just break our own hearts 🤷🏻‍♀
@Bananana shame on him for ghosting her, especially after a year. I understand it sometimes, but she deserved so much more than that.