Hi Sunnyday... I am coming from an opposite route in life where I haven't stayed with anyone for a variety of reasons. So, unlike the divorced people who have had similar experiences to you, I cannot imagine how things turn cold after years, I've never stayed to experience it.

But experiencing myself and myself alone, I can see how I have my good years and less good years so far. There are these bright and vibrant months and then there are the harder ones.
So I assume, this happens to most people. To the point where I am, if I were given a partner to live with, very hypothetically, I would try and try and try. I would consider them part of myself and I would try to find understanding, patience for the bad times, willingness to celebrate the good.
But again this doesn't come from experience with another person, but how I am working with loving myself and being there for myself. I would say, why don't you behave like you are by yourself for a while? Instead of taking a permanent decision, act like it ..?
MM maybe I'm not the best couple advisor, I just felt compelled to answer.

I felt every syllable of your post.

This almost perfectly describes my marriage, which ended with a whimper and simply faded out despite everything I tried to encourage my wife to communicate with me.

I didn't want it to end and it still hurts me that it did. It may take me a long time to heal, and to accept that it was the best thing really.

I wish you clarity as you navigate this difficult time.

Peace and love to you.

I think that you have answered your own question. To have the strength to let go and put yourself first. If your family and your partner don't recognize the need to help you then you need to help yourself. You need to seek a relationship where there is a willingness to help each other. You need to recognize within the beginning of a relationship whether there is a willingness to help each other. This may be difficult for you to recognize. But you must learn to recognize the truth of the relationship within its beginning stages so as to not to make the same mistakes again.

The other thing you can do is try and have a more meaningful conversation with your family to help them understand that sometimes you need their help.

I cannot say "I've been there" so my advice would come without experience to back it up. But I see you're ~10 years behind me in age so here's something. Have your finances arranged so that splitting would not mean havoc for either one of you. Better consider that soon, before moods become contentious and rational discussions turn quarrelsome.

My relationship was over but as we had 4 children and the youngest was very young i stayed and looked after them and she went to work and had a life with her new boyfriend. When my daughter was 9 i left and he moved in.

Many of the loneliest times I've had in my life have been in relationships. I've become a lot less lonely now since avoiding relationships.

Take from this what you will.

Yes.

I didn't.

I know exactly what you're talking about. Wish I could give you a hug. I hope you'll eventually find your way out of this relationship and into a much happier life

Ending a 30 yr first marriage for similar reasons. Hope you find the right choice for your situation.

Sometimes strong ones needs a should to lean on or hands to hold.
At least you can vent here and can have virtual support.

i dunno but i admit to staying with a guy that was mildly abusve for pragmatic reasons, like finding it a hassle to move etc. but he was abusive like 20% of the time and 80% lovely

life is too short to be miserable. i have learned to enjoy my alone time. i do get lonely but i am not going to be miserable the short time i am on earth

I can understand I am 39 and dating a guy that is 18.

Reconnect with your family.

Heck no. I don't do that.
Im ok with being single.
As long as I am happy I am ok. 😊💕

What is your relationship?

No, I really wanted to stay with my wife. There were times I wanted to leave because it got boring, but all considered she was so sweet and funny and loving that it was a great relationship.