This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
JimboSaturn · 56-60, M
No people change . What is this idea that fidelity would be any different. This is a carelessly unexamined myth
@JimboSaturn fidelity a carelessly unexamined myth? A cultural norm, to be sure. Is it for everyone? I suppose not. Then again - swinging and polyamory are not for everyone either.
There is something to be said for a shared journey. (Yeah, I get it. Some polyamory, or even polyamory/monogamy couples can have a shared journey).
The point is that it should be discussed and agreed to upfront. If a couple want to be polyamorous, that's fine. It when you go get married with the understanding of fidelity, and then someone decides to change that expectation with discussing it with their spouse/partner that it becomes the problem.
If you've entered a relationship with the expectation of monogamy, and then step out of the relationship is wrong. Not only is it selfish, it deprives the partner/spouse the opportunity to "play" as well. Who knows, maybe the other person is unhappy also and wouldn't mind opening the relationship up.
I agree, some people can change. Not every one though....
There is something to be said for a shared journey. (Yeah, I get it. Some polyamory, or even polyamory/monogamy couples can have a shared journey).
The point is that it should be discussed and agreed to upfront. If a couple want to be polyamorous, that's fine. It when you go get married with the understanding of fidelity, and then someone decides to change that expectation with discussing it with their spouse/partner that it becomes the problem.
If you've entered a relationship with the expectation of monogamy, and then step out of the relationship is wrong. Not only is it selfish, it deprives the partner/spouse the opportunity to "play" as well. Who knows, maybe the other person is unhappy also and wouldn't mind opening the relationship up.
I agree, some people can change. Not every one though....
JimboSaturn · 56-60, M
@VeronicaJane Im not even talking that deeply about non manogamy. Im just saying with ever other fault, people allow for growth and change. Except strangely about the fact that you may have cheated on a girlfriend when you were 18 , now when you are 50 you are brandec a cheatedr