Who helped you talk to the opposite sex?
When I was a kid, I visited my friend and his family, his mother overheard me saying I had a difficulty talking to girls, then said "Well, I'm a girl, you can practice on me if you like".
18-21, M
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JimFarris16 · 18-21, M
@NOS4R2 I was shy and nervous.
NOS4R2 · 41-45
@JimFarris16 Of just girls or everybody?
JimFarris16 · 18-21, M
@NOS4R2 Girls
Heartlander · 80-89, M
@NOS4R2
In the 1940s, just to be seen talking to a girl could get you teased by other boys mercilessly for years. So when talking to a girl then, you had to be extra careful about who was watching, how long you talked, whether you smiled or not, or fixed your hair first, etc. etc.
It was kind of like taking to someone of a different race.
Here, this kind of covers it, but it wasn't just small towns :
[media=https://youtu.be/w0Wro7rZluQ]
In the 1940s, just to be seen talking to a girl could get you teased by other boys mercilessly for years. So when talking to a girl then, you had to be extra careful about who was watching, how long you talked, whether you smiled or not, or fixed your hair first, etc. etc.
It was kind of like taking to someone of a different race.
Here, this kind of covers it, but it wasn't just small towns :
[media=https://youtu.be/w0Wro7rZluQ]
JimFarris16 · 18-21, M
@Heartlander I would just stammer and stutter around a girl I liked.
Heartlander · 80-89, M
@JimFarris16 Oh yea, but just to chance getting into that conversation you had to first deal with the distractors.
I recall an experience when I was about 5. The school was just a few blocks away on the same street, and the school kids would all walk by on their way to and from school, while I was just playing in the yard.
One day a little girl walked by and stopped to admire a rose bush in our yard, and commented on how beautiful the roses were. There were hundreds on he bush and I asked if she wanted one. She said "yes" and I tore one from the rosebush and gave it to her. She thanked me and was on her way. I continued to play with a bit of satisfaction over having helped contributed to anther person's happiness.
To record that event my big brother was watching from a window, and from that moment on he teased me mercilessly for years. I was only 4 or 5 and didn't know how to handle the teasing so I did what seemed appropriate for the event. I told him to shut up, to which he teased me louder. To that I smacked him. But he was 2+ years older and he smacked me back, which lead to a fight which I lost.
The same thing happened when a black kid strayed into our yard one day and we became friends and played away the afternoon. A cousin was watching from a window and teased me about my skin turning black. It's what happens when you play with black kids. He also told my brother who then teased me about turning black and having to go live with black people. They didn't use the phrase "black" people then.
Oh, I had a happy childhood. But I did have to learn to handle the obstacles :)
I recall an experience when I was about 5. The school was just a few blocks away on the same street, and the school kids would all walk by on their way to and from school, while I was just playing in the yard.
One day a little girl walked by and stopped to admire a rose bush in our yard, and commented on how beautiful the roses were. There were hundreds on he bush and I asked if she wanted one. She said "yes" and I tore one from the rosebush and gave it to her. She thanked me and was on her way. I continued to play with a bit of satisfaction over having helped contributed to anther person's happiness.
To record that event my big brother was watching from a window, and from that moment on he teased me mercilessly for years. I was only 4 or 5 and didn't know how to handle the teasing so I did what seemed appropriate for the event. I told him to shut up, to which he teased me louder. To that I smacked him. But he was 2+ years older and he smacked me back, which lead to a fight which I lost.
The same thing happened when a black kid strayed into our yard one day and we became friends and played away the afternoon. A cousin was watching from a window and teased me about my skin turning black. It's what happens when you play with black kids. He also told my brother who then teased me about turning black and having to go live with black people. They didn't use the phrase "black" people then.
Oh, I had a happy childhood. But I did have to learn to handle the obstacles :)
JimFarris16 · 18-21, M
@Heartlander Luckily, my friend's mom was very helpful, good conversations.
Heartlander · 80-89, M
@NOS4R2 @JimFarris16
If I can make one more contribution to this discussion about guys learning to talk to girls that people under the age of 60 or 70 may not be aware. In the old days, like 70+ years ago, society had installed barriers between the youthful genders to keep them apart or separated, and in many cases boys and girls didn't grow up together, didn't routinely interact, nor work together, and not get beyond those barriers until their twenties, so talking to girls was a novelty, or frightening experience for some, and it took a while to find a comfort zone. .
In some cases boys and girls went to different schools, or had gender segregated class rooms. sat on opposite sides at church services. If they then went to college, there were separate dorms, usually on opposite sides of the campuses. Female dorms had curfews and males not allowed beyond the front door. Military service was basically a male thing, so if males went into the military after high school or college, he went into an all male environment. Other career paths were gender oriented. I think one of my cousins was the first female graduate of a large university's school of architecture. Boys on the left, girls on the right. Boys became engineers and architects and girls became teachers and nurses.
If I can make one more contribution to this discussion about guys learning to talk to girls that people under the age of 60 or 70 may not be aware. In the old days, like 70+ years ago, society had installed barriers between the youthful genders to keep them apart or separated, and in many cases boys and girls didn't grow up together, didn't routinely interact, nor work together, and not get beyond those barriers until their twenties, so talking to girls was a novelty, or frightening experience for some, and it took a while to find a comfort zone. .
In some cases boys and girls went to different schools, or had gender segregated class rooms. sat on opposite sides at church services. If they then went to college, there were separate dorms, usually on opposite sides of the campuses. Female dorms had curfews and males not allowed beyond the front door. Military service was basically a male thing, so if males went into the military after high school or college, he went into an all male environment. Other career paths were gender oriented. I think one of my cousins was the first female graduate of a large university's school of architecture. Boys on the left, girls on the right. Boys became engineers and architects and girls became teachers and nurses.