I don’t know

Been a while but thought I’d start using this space to vent as it really helped me in the past.

2024 has been a good year
2023 was a sh!t show

Feelings about the person from 2023
Even though they were bad for me and gone from my life I still feel upset sometimes when I think back. I can’t distinguish what was real.
It seemed like they loved me but their actions were horrible.
If I ever tried to talk to them it was just a merry go round.

It seems like was all just so they could live at mine

Narcissists are the worse
Because I fell for guy in the beginning of 2022 but this nice act didn’t last long.
And then I stayed for another two years hoping to see that person again
I did get glimpses but at a cost
And when I tried to leave they would revert back to being perfect only to become worse when I gave in

So it’s hard for me to admit this but even though I’m glad the relationship ended because of how bad the abuse was.
I miss the really nice person who would be there time to time

I can’t have the nice person back because he comes with five or six demons

I didn’t feel safe with this person I was on eggshells
But even though it’s in the past
I miss the nice person sometimes