I feel so paranoid about men.

If 1 in 3 men i thought was good but turned out bad, I feel all men were pretending, even good ones, they will also turn out bad . It's so scary.

Idk how taking time to get to know them helps when men are very good at pretending. I am not good at identifying 😞

In my past , my male friends i been with for 1-2 years, after cutting them off due to fights, their fake kindness or their apathy, i found out they were just around me to try to use me. I found out after 6 months- 1 year of cutting them off from my life. Even men I tried to date didn't treat me good.

F everything, let them turn out bad or good if i try dating again, I'm tired of worrying .

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Elisbch · M

If you reverse the gender throughout what you wrote, some men say and feel similar or the same about women. A lot of men know that women are good at pretending too. I'm not saying you are. I'm not judging. I'm just trying to make a point.
Men also get used and burned and are leery. This can effect how women are treated just as it's the same of how it can effect how women treat men.
It's terribly frustrating either way.

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@Elisbch agree !

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@Elisbch think men tend to confuse their past trauma triggers with women and abuse even normal women. For example if a normal women have 1 bad quality out of 10 of the women who abused them, even if the normal women not bad, they tend to confuse and abuse her too.

Elisbch · M

@sahi81

If I understand you correctly, I believe you have a good point and think you could be correct in many circumstances possibly. I will say though if someone (male or female) has abusive behaviors then they do not pick who their abusive is dished out to. If there's an abusive man he's going to abuse a good woman just as much as he would a woman that would be abusive toward him. Many grew up with the abusive nature and without help usually keep it.

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@Elisbch yes some people can be abusive for the f of it, i heard of men beating their wives after getting drunk even when the wife didn't do anything wrong. I think some abusive people just want to take out their frustrations on others. ( such people have histroy of bullying vulnerable people or harming innocent animals)

some do out of protecting their fragile ego.

And some seem low EQ , confuse their past triggers for reality and abuse innocent people.

Some seem to hate themselves, they hate others too or want to put all blame on others when things go wrong.

Each abusive person seem to have different reasons but abuse is never ok bcuz most of it comes from their own unresolved issues.

Elisbch · M

@sahi81

I agree, all that you said is true.... unfortunately. 😔.
I sincerely wish you luck and don't allow yourself to be lured into an abusive relationship. 🙏🏻