Is it sexist to not want a wishy washy partner?

As a young woman I watched my mum conflicted with every single decision she made.
Whereas my dad even if his choices were selfish he stood by them. If he needed to correct something that didn't work in his favour he looked to seek out a solution.
Yes he leaned on my mum and yes he made "networked" to make those decisions a bit easier but he always tried to move forward.

When I listened to the stories of my grandparents meeting my grandfather was very much the kind of man that stood by his word.
He said he would marry my grandmother after meeting her at 15.
When they fell pregnant he said he would do all he could to provide and look after her.
So much so when he came to the UK without her he said he would work enough to be able to send for her and find work for her too.
1 year later she was here, 4 years later they were married and buying their home that they still live in until this day.

When I started dating and met men that didn't seem to honour their words or stick to a decision. I found it really difficult, to stick with them and eventually we'd break up.
I don't think I was the most demanding person.

But I also didn't understand why if you decided something today to carry out the following day do you now just give up on it before it's even started.

I'm sure some will say it's because it was the wrong person but I feel that's just them. Indecisive...

I try not to be this way so maybe my expectations of a partner are high.

What is your take on this?

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Rumination · 41-45, M

I’ve learned to be genuine and transparent up front. For example, if you’re not the type of person that can consistently do dishes at night, while your significant other makes dinner, don’t even do it in the beginning

I’ve told my kids the same thing when they’re courting someone. If I feel like they’re doing something out of their own character, I’ll bring light to it and ask if they think the other person will be surprised down the road, when they default back

Would you say you hold them accountable to their word from the get-go or it starts after you’ve settled into a relationship?

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@Rumination in a relationship I like to talk but most importantly observe. What you sell me in the beginning is what I expect going forward.
So that means if you're selling yourself like a gentleman I expect very little deviation from that.

My downfall my be that I like to give people the benefit of the don't and I don't pull you up on it the first time. But if I see a pattern I will discuss and take on board the reasoning.

This now sets the tone for what's going to happen going forward.

I'm not in to tit for tat. So my decision is usually can I cope with this, is this temporary or should I just cut and run.

It's not about grudge holding, it's more about self preservation.

As a young woman I don't feel like time is on my side.
So the healthiest thing for me is to keep it moving, in whatever shape or form that may be.

*Staying true to yourself is the key to happiness.*

Rumination · 41-45, M

@Mellowgirl I don’t think your expectations are too high. Simply asking for follow-through from someone who is going to be with you for the rest of your life

When my wife and I started getting close, we agreed we loved exactly how our relationship was going. But that if things started to surface that we found uncomfortable, we’d go our separate ways before it ruined what we had. Tons stayed the same. So we decided to move in together to test being a blended family with the same commitment; if it didn’t work, we’d go our separate ways

We got married this year

What I learned was, we kept everything out in the open and we both knew exactly what we were getting and it has worked out beautifully

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@Rumination congratulations to you both.
I think it's good to have an open friendship and from that you can build a very healthy relationship with realistic expectations of one another.

I'm not entirely sure this is really understood.