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Is it sexist to not want a wishy washy partner?

As a young woman I watched my mum conflicted with every single decision she made.
Whereas my dad even if his choices were selfish he stood by them. If he needed to correct something that didn't work in his favour he looked to seek out a solution.
Yes he leaned on my mum and yes he made "networked" to make those decisions a bit easier but he always tried to move forward.

When I listened to the stories of my grandparents meeting my grandfather was very much the kind of man that stood by his word.
He said he would marry my grandmother after meeting her at 15.
When they fell pregnant he said he would do all he could to provide and look after her.
So much so when he came to the UK without her he said he would work enough to be able to send for her and find work for her too.
1 year later she was here, 4 years later they were married and buying their home that they still live in until this day.

When I started dating and met men that didn't seem to honour their words or stick to a decision. I found it really difficult, to stick with them and eventually we'd break up.
I don't think I was the most demanding person.

But I also didn't understand why if you decided something today to carry out the following day do you now just give up on it before it's even started.

I'm sure some will say it's because it was the wrong person but I feel that's just them. Indecisive...

I try not to be this way so maybe my expectations of a partner are high.

What is your take on this?
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DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
Wrong no.

I am familiar with the problem and had come across such a wishy-washy woman in my 20s.

I actually asked her to marry me and that was the only decision she ever had a decisive opinion on that I knew her to make. She was even wishy-washy about sex, which actually never happened.

Some people can deal with it, others just can't. She wanted someone to make the decisions I suspect. Yet I couldn't push certain issues.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@DeWayfarer that's interesting. You couldn't decided on anything but one thing. That must have been hard to take.
Don't get me wrong I don't want a man that dominates and dictates but a healthy discussion is good. To find compromise. I'd hate to think I'm taking control or being controlled.
It's tricky because I do believe those people need love. The kind they need though I probably don't have the patience for.
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
@Mellowgirl I don't say this often. Yet I had been raped several times as a teenager and so had she.

Her favorite thing to say was "I don't know...". I USUALLY made the decisions in that case.

Yet how does anyone respond to that knowing the previous situations of both of us in that one decision regarding sex?
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@DeWayfarer I don't know is a frustrating phrase to keep hearing.
And it takes time for the person under those circumstances to come to the realisation that if they want to move forward despite the cards they were previously dealt they need to start figuring out why they don't know and how they can learn to know.
It's harsh but noone in this life can tell you how to live. There's no book with the divine answer.

I can only assume this person was young and pretty much still in the thick of their trauma.

Your relationship was a distraction to dealing with the pain.

I'm sorry this happened to you both.
If I came across harsh that wasn't my intention.
I hope that life has presented better things to you as time has gone on.
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
@Mellowgirl we both were young and in our early twenties. And I was the one that got her out of a different abusive relationship a few years previously.

I'm not indecisive. She was in everything but marriage. I WILL NOT force sex on ANYONE. Because of my past experiences.

Doing so after her saying "I don't know..." would be to me no better than rape.

Consent is paramount in such cases.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@DeWayfarer you made the best choices you could at the time.
And you had the right mind to think about your actions.

Speaks volumes... 👍🏾