@idonthavealife yes

@Lonelyandyb
Okay - so it's social anxiety.

I think the most unpleasant thing that could happen to me in any social situation is to be rejected: to be told I'm not welcome and to please leave, jeered at, or somebody gossiping negatively, especially if what they said was untrue.
I have these fears because I was relentlessly rejected, teased and bullied in primary school, and a little in high school too. That feeling of not being acceptable has never left me. At 68, I've carried these fears around with me for most of a lifetime.
Yet I've also worked hard on developing social skills: how to ask people about themselves, find their passions, interests, values -- whatever they're most interested in talking about, and how to draw them out about those things. Usually, it works. They seem interested and engaged, and I don't get rejected. Occasionally I meet someone who thinks it's nosy & rude, so I back off and turn the conversation to more general topics, like what's happening lately in the news: inflation, insufficient housing, problems in the hospital/education systems, climate change and asking what we could do about it. That usually works. I come home exhausted, but also strangely content.
I confess that I find it quite hard work. I have to listen carefully and give my full attention. Conversation feels like trying to stay afloat in a kayak over rapids - as if I could come a cropper at any moment - that's the old fear pumping my adrenaline. And yet my need to connect is still strong. If I stay at home, I get lonely, morbid and depressed. It's not good for me.

They say fear is it's own worst enemy.
For instance, if one fears the water and avoids it, one never learns to swim.
The more one avoids, the greater the fear grows.

So the answer is to let oneself feel the fear, and then go ahead, face a hurdle, and jump - a bar so low that one cannot fail. Repeat a few times until you can trust yourself that it's easy, and then ever so slightly raise the bar, feel the return of the fear, and go ahead, jump that teeny bit higher or further. And so on.
In the end, it becomes a release from a prison of one's own making.

Try thinking up a list of things that aren't quite so scary.
E.g. -- weed the sidewalk outside your place at least once a week. If anyone says hi, pays a compliment, or starts a chat, just respond in kind, (or if someone says something rude, keep your response neutral, non-commital, mild.)
-- Ask a sales clerk how their day has been, and offer an empathic response.
-- Ask a dog owner if you can pet their dog. Most dogs love it and the owner will usually want to chat about their (With the dog, be quiet, blink your eyes - a sign of non-agression - and offer the back of your hand below their head. Wait for the dog to show interest, then strock or rub his neck, behind the ears or on the chest.) Notice how a dog's friendliness helps you feel more relaxed. I always thank the owner.

@hartfire so .. I think what your saying is.. I should get a dog..🤔
Thanks for the advice

@Lonelyandyb Actually, I'd adore a dog (or two), but at this stage I couldn't afford the costs.

No, the suggestion I was trying to offer was that you make your own list
of small ways to learn to overcome social fear.

Most people I've met who are shy are actually incredibly nice people - good and interesting to know.

Some people have specific problems that make social relationships harder to create. But even with them, there are usually at least a few ways of reducing the difficulties.

We are a social species. It's natural for us to want to connect and to have enduring and positive friendships.
Social anxiety is learned in childhood. Its not innate. So we can learn to overcome it. But there's no magic wand. It takes time and effort, just one tiny step at a time.

@deathfairy my Pfp is a character from a computer game..🤔

second life? @Lonelyandyb