I just feel completely broken at this point

Like I'm not capable of handling everything on my plate. I've never wanted a relationship to work out more. He's immature and self centered but still. It doesn't matter. Those are petty things in the scheme. He's still a person, who is my child's father, who I've been dependent on, and who I would do anything to make it work with. Almost anything. I could go back, but he doesn't love me. I've hurt him. Not in the same ways he has hurt me. I've been mean, out of anger. The last four years have been so hard. Its changed me. I'm not myself. I'm not lving life the way you are. But now without him, I'm worse off. And this isn't good for my son. But neither is a relationship where parents just fight. I talked to my therapist yesterday and she insinuated her opinion would be not to go back. And she is helping me find legal advice. I've made calls today but got no one. This is a nightmare and I don't know how I'm going to make it through. There's a lot more serious stuff that I don't talk about here, so while I sound pathetic, and weak, I'm actually not, I just don't share the fulls cope of things. I feel like this is important to add. If my life was a little more normal I think I'd be handling everything better. But my brain is just ... Total overload. And my heart and my confidence is crushed.