When you know breakup is imminent

How long do you wait to verbalize it? We have a lease for 11 more months, and neither of us are in a financial state to go separately right now. I’m certain, and I think she’s almost there herself. We had a serious talk about a month ago and I told her I was 50/50 on whether I would stay after the lease ran out. Well I’m 100% now. Try to make peace, and tough it out until then? Run off with not enough $ to get a place and also ruin my renter record? What does SW say?

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OlderSometimesWiser · F

Things still amicable? Can’t afford to move? Buy/finance another bed. You’re gonna need one anyway when you do move.

ErecSchunn · 46-50, M

@OlderSometimesWiser if we want to be nit-picky, I bought the bed with my own savings when we first moved in together

OlderSometimesWiser · F

@ErecSchunn Will she pay for another bed? Sounds like you’re gonna have to do some negotiating and compromising if you can’t afford to move out.

ErecSchunn · 46-50, M

@OlderSometimesWiser if I’m honest, the only reason I got a place with her is because of her poor financial status. 18 months ago. She has improved it significantly, but still I worry she’s going to struggle when I do leave. That has been weighing on my mind, she is a decent person just not the right one for me.

OlderSometimesWiser · F

@ErecSchunn You’re no doubt in a tough position. What you did was kind, and it’s nice of you to worry about her. But of course I don’t have to tell you that ultimately you’re gonna have to do what’s best for you. Perhaps if you are stuck together for the next 11 months, you could use that time to reframe your relationship into an amicable, cordial friendship so that when the time does come to part ways, you’ll both feel better about the situation. And afterwards, you might end up not even wanting to cut ties completely, so you might check in to see how she’s doing from time to time. Maybe that would ease your mind right now.

NoThanksLeon · M

@ErecSchunn Seems to me that you dont really want to leave or are afraid of leaving and are making excuses. So you paid for the bed. So what? Get another one or a few bails of hay.