You are getting those warning bells for a certain reason. You state he frequently helps others, not asking for his help, making the necessary sacrifices to achieve what you get. the payment plan on the shoes, while still saving for the future. it is your cash as you remain independent for yourself. You ARE managing your money and doing a good job of it, learning to live within your means. You Are doing something right, yeah may be jealous of those who have it handed to them, but you get the self satisfaction of doing it on your own. By him shooting you down, he's trying to make himself feel bigger, not even able to give an authentic compliment to you.

You ARE important and need to be with someone that treats you that way. I was in similar circumstances as you, after many years of living in the situation, i stepped out on my own and doing things for myself.

Do it for yourself before you lose who YOU are!

I think you need to revaluate this 'relationship'

If it leaves you feeling like this why are you in this relationship?

Has he stopped looking at his phone constantly when you're together? Has anything changed from the initial dating?

I feel you really need time to think about what YOU want from your future years and what you need to do to live those dreams you have..

We all have different experiences and exectations and often these varyinh immensely from person to person. I do however admire you very much for putting thesr thoughts doen in detail as you have. It showd you have a strength of purpose even though you may doubt this.

I am sorry you are going through this. We've all been there in one form or another. Maybe you need time for yourself and reevaluate your relationship. It is kind of hypocritical that he spends all this money on other people but otherwise snaps at you for how you handle your own money. That's your money and how you spend it is your own business. It's also best you find ways to move forward with your life and make the best of it.

He views you as beneath him and as someone that “needs him”, while the opposite not being true (he doesn’t feel that he “needs you”), because he thinks that’s safer for him, and that’s the way he wants it. You are not and will never be “equal” to him in his eyes. If you actually did do something to where he began to view you as “equal and not needing him”, he would probably just leave because he doesn’t want an “equal” relationship. He wouldn’t be able to handle that. He wants to feel that he has the upper hand.

Closet and well hidden narcissism at its core.

Sorry to hear your plight

My PM's are open, so feel free 🤷🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️