Caring
Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Stay away from Trauma Bonding, this my story ❤️‍🩹

I worked in the marketing department of a multi-specialty hospital and there, I found myself deeply attracted to a nurse intern. She was remarkably beautiful cute little fairy to look at, but her words could be harsh, and she had a toxic side to her personality. We began dating, but after a few months, she disclosed that she was already in a committed relationship with someone else. She had feelings for him but didn't wish to marry him due to his lack of effort. Her past had been marred by abusive experiences, and her present boyfriend's behavior was causing her distress. She valued my care and kindness, creating a complex emotional situation for both of us.

One day, influenced by her friends, she approached me and made a decision – she wanted a future with me. She proposed, and we rekindled our relationship. I was deeply in love with her and paid no mind to her previous boyfriend, whom I saw as the antagonist in our story.

We shared an intimate moment at my place, but afterward, she left, overwhelmed by guilt, feeling that she had betrayed her boyfriend. She confessed that I was only the second person she'd been with and that her attachment to her boyfriend, despite his lack of effort, was strong. She couldn't face him after what had transpired, so she asked for some space.

Despite the difficulties, we couldn't stand to be apart for long. She would cook and bring me meals, even after her internship ended, and she secured a permanent job. Our relationship dynamics shifted – I used to buy her gifts initially, but she reciprocated, gifting me shirts and small presents from her salary. It touched my heart, but our relationship was fraught with constant fights and toxicity. She would request no contact when she met her boyfriend, which deeply troubled me. Even though she was the one who had cheated, I was the one losing sleep and shedding tears, unable to bear the thought of her being with him.

This situation continued for a month until, one day, she fell seriously ill and was admitted to our hospital. She confided in me about an altercation with her boyfriend, who had become physically abusive, hitting and slapping her due to his suspicions. Deeply concerned, I took her to my home after her discharge, where we shared an intimate night. The next day, she argued with and cursed her boyfriend on the phone, then blocked him.

She expressed a desire to be with me forever. After months of emotional turmoil and tears, I found happiness because I had her by my side.

For about 4-5 months, my life was filled with happiness. My previous girlfriend occasionally messaged me, leading to fights between my current girlfriend and me. She wanted me to block my ex-girlfriend, just as she had blocked her ex-boyfriend. We were now living together, and she had met my family, while I had met her father, who liked me. Everything seemed great, but her ex-boyfriend continued to message her, trying to convince her to return, which was distressing for both of us. She often expressed missing him, despite acknowledging that he didn't put in any effort and had an unattractive personality. I was getting fed up with the situation and wanted her to make a decision, though I never explicitly told her.

I stopped taking care of our relationship, but she continued to be kind to my family and me, reassuring me that she wouldn't go back to her ex. One day, she told me to ask her father for permission to marry her, but I had seen many red flags due to her lingering feelings for her ex-boyfriend. I started making excuses to avoid it. Frustrated, she declared her final decision: she wanted to be with her ex-boyfriend, even if he was abusive. This led to a big fight, and we argued for days, sometimes angrily and sometimes affectionately. She admitted to feeling guilty about being with me while missing her ex-boyfriend, even though her relationship with him had lasted for 2-3 years, and she often had flashbacks of the past.

We eventually ended our relationship, but we remained in contact. She would sometimes say we could only meet as friends, with no physical affection, but that wasn't always the case. I felt relieved after the breakup, realizing she had fidelity issues.

Her ex-boyfriend learned about me through her Instagram and contacted me. We had a conversation, and I promised not to interfere again. However, she contacted me again, blaming me for ruining her relationship. We fought, but we also had good conversations as friends. During our 4-5 months of living together, we had started a clothing business, and I helped her grow her Instagram from a few hundred followers to 50k followers, and I was managing her account. Now, we needed to stay in touch without her boyfriend finding out.
Now the dude has even asked for her hand in marriage to her father and now we have finally created boundaries.
even then we talked romantically sometimes whenever she missed me, sometimes we would fight and blame each other, but atlast she got what she wanted and I am the one suffering whenever she goes to her (almost fiance) boyfriend's house. It was hard to believe that the person I cared for deeply was going back to her ex.

After a month of trauma, I was once out with a friend, where I met a new girl. She was cheerful, and I went on a date with her. However, my ex had problems and engaged in jealous, toxic fights with me, as she didn't want to lose me to this new girl. She expressed regret about choosing her ex and says she cannot choose me again because she is going to marry her “love” who was man enough to meet her father but STILL she doesn’t want me to go with other girls. In other words, she will go and sleep with her guy but wouldn’t like me going out with a female friend.

A few days ago, i met her, she asked me to call my new poor “ girl-friend “ who is not even my girlfriend, so she could hear her voice. She is jealous of her she curses me blames me but then goes into self analysis as she chose to leave me. I don't know what the future holds, but one thing is clear – I am suffering. It's a situation I allowed to continue.
This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
And I quote [quote] she had a toxic side to her personality[/quote]

Time to block and walk......