Guy is being too pushy for me and it’s STRESSING me out!

I’m going on dates with a guy (he is one of my girl friends brother). He tells me he never had a girlfriend before and he doesn’t know how this works so he’s ready to be in a relationship he told me. On the other hand I like him but I want to take things slow as I just got out of a bad relationship and am still healing and taking care of myself after that. I told him I want to take things slow but we were seeing each other once a week and now he told me he wants to see me more times throughout the week. I didn’t even wanna have the obligation of once a week let alone twice a week. I don’t know how to go about telling him he’s going way too fast for me right now and I feel as if he’s being pushy with making plans. I don’t want things to be awkward with my friend either seeing it’s her brother so how do I handle this?

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GohantheThird · M

Just tell him. Be honest and straight forward. I know it sounds mean, but honestly it'll be better for you in the longrun.

PS: Don't stress about how many relationships he's been in. Most guys lie about that kind of thing for one reason or another.

Fifidog · 26-30, F

@GohantheThird what can I say when I tell him? I’m sometimes bad with words and how to put it

GohantheThird · M

@Fifidog Just be honest. "This is moving really fast for me. I don't want to stop seeing you, so is there anyway we could come together and sort it out?" This should be a conversation you have in person, btw. Never discuss this kind of thing over the phone, otherwise it'll look like you're trying to dump him.

Fifidog · 26-30, F

@GohantheThird that’s a great way to put it! Thanks so much!! What if he says I wanna see you every Sunday. He kind of expects it now he’s just like see you next weekend but I don’t want to have my weekends dedicated or reserved for him just yet as I’m still working on myself and need some me time sometimes. I also like to see him for an hour or so cause that’s what I have energy for. But he seems to want to spend hours (usually 3 or 4) together and do an activity and grab food and go for a walk and hangout and talk. I get that he likes me and wants to spend time for me but sometimes it feels like too much. My last relationship I got out of he did too little and wasn’t thoughtful at all so I appreciate how this one is showing me he likes me and makes me feel like he thinks of me but I’m just not ready to jump into a relationship so fast.

GohantheThird · M

@Fifidog I think getting together and explaining both of your wants and needs will help you two move forward in the relationship. He probably was dating one or two girls before you who was higher maintenance than you, so he might just operate that way automatically.