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I introduced my boyfriend to a (hopefully) new friend. It went so well!

My boyfriend has social anxiety and has a lot of trouble making friends. He really doesn’t have many. I’ve really been wanting to help him make some friends, not just for his sake, but for mine as well. It can be exhausting being the only person my bf can come to with his personal thoughts and feelings. He has a therapist he sees sporadically, but he really needs more people in his life he can talk to and spend time with besides me.

Some weeks ago I was at a piercing place and I met a guy named Hugo. He’s from Panama, and has been in the US for about 8 months now (which is also how long he’s been learning english). I thought he was really nice and a cool guy, seemed around our age (mid to late 20s), and he was saying that he needed friends to practice english with. I was like hey, I wanna practice my Spanish, we can be language buddies! We exchanged numbers and had been texting off an on since. I saw him in person for a second time when I told him where I was working and he happened to be in the area, so he stopped by the shop. That interaction reaffirmed that he was a great guy and that he and my boyfriend would probably get along well.

So today my bf and I decided on the fly that we would go to Dave & Busters (it’s a bar/arcade if you’re not familiar) since it was too late to go to the mall. I ended up getting a text from Hugo, and we had a little back and forth, told him where me and my bf were, he had never been to a D&B’s, so I asked him if he’d like to meet up with us. We had been talking about how I wanted him to meet my bf (and I had also been talking to my bf about them meeting each other) so I thought hey, perfect timing! Now we got a plus 1 and the evening will be a little more exciting, and Chris (my bf) will hopefully make a new friend!

I told Chris that I had invited Hugo as soon as I got out the car (we drove separately). At first he was actually pretty mad at me…. He said he wasn’t prepared to be meeting someone, that I shouldn’t have invited him on such short notice, he wasn’t emotionally prepared to have to talk to someone besides me, etc. I felt a little bad but also a little annoyed. I mean we are always spending time one on one so it’s not like I invited someone else to our “special alone time” or whatever. We get plenty of that. And we HAD discussed previously how the 3 of us would hang out some day soon, things just kinda fell together and worked out for him to come meet us right then.

Hugo was in Los Angeles when we texted so he had a bit of a drive, giving Chris and me some time to talk things over and for him to calm down and mentally prepare to meet someone new. He was still pretty jaded about the whole situation, but he was feeling a bit better about it after sitting in the car for some time and us going over how we would approach conversing with Hugo (again, social anxiety). I asked him what he needed from me to make him comfortable in this social situation, asked him to think about things that he can talk to Hugo about ahead of time, stuff like that. Chris felt much more ready when Hugo got there.

Well, I’m happy to report that Chris and Hugo really hit it off! They had lots of easy conversation (almost entirely in Spanish, a bit to my chagrin, but hey I’ll take it), and we played some fun rounds of air hockey, which Hugo had never played or even hear or before. He actually did quite well after the first round.

After playing some games we sat at a both and got some drinks and appetizers and they continued talking in Spanish. Chris would occasionally translate for me what they were saying (but of course I had to pester him each time 🤨). Hugo actually put in more effort than my boyfriend to include me in conversation, though he struggles with english and would have to ask my bf how to say what he was saying in english… a bit tiresome but worth it to hang out.

As we were drinking and snacking and I was feeling a little tired of being left out of conversation I started practicing my Spanish as best I could, and was speaking to Hugo in Spanish, in between asking Chris how to say certain words. It was actually quite mentally stimulating and fun. We had discussions about language, culture, immigration, travel, etc. I haven’t seen my boyfriend this animated talking to a new person in a very long time.

After we said our goodbyes…. Oh wait, I can’t not mention this, but at the end of the night, Hugo insisted on paying for all our food and drinks! What a fucking mensch!

Okay so after our goodbyes and Hugo going back to his truck, me and Chris sat in my car for a bit and talked about the night. He apologized about complaining earlier and said that to his surprise he actually had a really nice time and really likes Hugo as a person.

Feels like a success!
SlaveEt · 31-35, F
Yay! I hope things continue to go well. Social anxiety is a tough one but you have to remember to take care of you too. Sounds like you are so kudos😁
monaanoom86 · 36-40, F
What is wrong with him depending on you for comfort you’re his gf
Zeurosis · 22-25, F
@monaanoom86 huh? Nothing, never said there was. I just can’t be the ONLY person he’s able to lean on when going through something. He can’t really open up that much to his parents and he’s an only child, so that’s where friends come in. It is too much for me to be his sole support system

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