I think I'd probably be dead by now, by my own silly doings, if I didn't have my partner in my life. Pretty simple, really. So, yes, life is easier with their support and advice.
Hmm Married for 33 years so yes pretty serious relationship..
Good question ... I think I have a pretty good answer for you...
Lets see now... we split up the work pretty evenly.. I drive, she does not, I shop, she does not, I cook, she does not... She does the dishes, the laundry, I cook for the dogs, we share the rest of the care for them..
Oh yes... one more little thing... She decided a great many years ago that we would make love each day, every day... She enjoys it, I enjoy it, we both very much look forward to it.. A relationship like this one that continues after 33 years of marriage... is as rare as it gets and I am VERY aware of this.. So. to what extent do we need one another? I would suggest a great deal actually.. A relationship like we have is I might suggest so rare as to be considered irreplaceable...
Respect is critical.. I can do things she can not do, She can do things I can not do.. Together we do things that alone we could not do... I am a sailor, I am not only experienced I am skilled at all aspects of owning and maintaining a boat... I know my limitations of what I can do and what I can not do and I work to expand my capabilities.... Some days I sail by myself, most days I do not do so.. I prefer company when I sail....WE prefer not to sleep alone.
My marriage has ended officially this year but we are still good friends. One thing I have learned is being needed sucks, being wanted and desired is amazing.
Although I know what you're saying, while we don't want to be "needy" or codependent, at the same time, if we don't need a marriage partner in our life, then why even bother? There is a certain need at a certain level, yet should be balanced.
My husband doesn't do anything I couldn't pay someone else to do and that works both ways. So it isn't so much of a need as it is choosing to be each other's companion in life.
This is a very interesting question. I think being in a relationship is more natural than not, because humans are social creatures. I also think that over-emphasising romantic love above all others is a stupid immaturity that comes more from stories than real life. We all have needs. A number of them. Partially satisfied across a number of relationships. Anybody putting that much pressure on their significant other, is going to wreck their relationship in my opinion. It's based on wanting a fantasy, not wanting a reality.
Financially, pragmatically? I know if things for some unforeseen reason abruptly ended I would ‘survive’ still. I’m sure eventually I would find my footing again even though it would be much harder. Could I sustain our present quality of life without him? No, even after I’m well into my career I still wouldn’t ever be able to afford this by myself.
Would I be able to emotionally and psychologically function ever again without him? It would take a very long time, but I’m sure eventually I would heal. I don’t know though. The older I get the more keenly aware of my own mortality I become and his.. The idea of him passing away before me someday breaks my heart.. It took so long to meet him. The idea of my world without his smile ever again is painful in a way that I can’t really describe.
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I don’t think it’s really that you need the person in your life, more that you just love having them around as they make you smile and happy.
@LadyGrace this is what I think. I don’t “need” my partner. I want him there. I love that he’s there. But it’s not a need. I was single till I was 40.
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I need her immensely all the time. We are greaved together as one. It’s not for a living, I make enough money. But she’s my wife, so I love her and need her.
@val70 we love many people in life even people who are related to us and raise us. People come and go. We are whole as we are. When people leave from our lives, we don’t lay down and die. We grieve and move forward. It’s natural to miss someone for a time. But I, like anyone else, am not the one thing holding my partner together.
@DoubleRings You have there a very traditonal view of partnership in the end. I do hope that you do seem to pick up what I meant was something completely different
Looking form outside the actual mainstream psychological / philosophical schools of thought and their "meaning makers" for words I would say that, for the specific kind of relationship I would get in and stay, the distinction between want and need sounds quite artificial.
I don’t need him, I work, I can take care of myself. Sure, there are things he can do that I can't, but that is still not a reason to need to be with him. We contribute our own skills, and value to the partnership. And most times it creates a balance that is nice to have.
I was in love with a man I needed in a different way. I didn’t really need him like people are needy these days. I just truly wanted him to be part of my life. We were magic, fire and tenderness. Needing him was beautiful. But it wasn’t enough.
