My boyfriend doesn’t make me feel like I’m enough

My bf always talks about how lonely he is. He says he wishes he had more friends to go to the bar with and more cool people to hangout with. But then it makes me feel like I’m not enough to him which makes me pull away from him. Like if he’s lonely and wants someone to talk to why can’t he just talk to me his girlfriend! Or if he wants to go to the bar why don’t we just go together. I mention that to him but he says sometimes he wants his guys time to do these kind of things. It kinda hurts cause I want to do stuff with him and he’s either always on his phone or not going on dates with me.

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Misanthropic · 26-30, M

Guys do need guy time, one person isn't enough and it isn't good for you either when you spend all your time around someone you lose respect for one another (not you specifically, in relationships in general).

Tell him to go out or find a club if he is too anxious. A bit of encouragement and if he won't budge then explain that he needs to sort himself out because it is having a negative impact on you.

Fifidog · 26-30, F

@Misanthropic he says he wants to go to the club but I’ve always thought of the club as places people go to meet each other. Is it normal for him to go to a club alone?

Misanthropic · 26-30, M

@Fifidog I mean a club as in a place for people with the same interests not a nightclub.. for example if he is interested in martial arts he could join a kickboxing club or if he likes art he could join an art class.

At the end of the day if you get time away from eachother you should both ultimately appreciate eachothers company more.. if he uses the opportunity to cheat which he won't do unless he is a zero.

Fifidog · 26-30, F

@Misanthropic oh okay. I was talking about a night club. Should he be wanting to go to a nightclub without me?

Misanthropic · 26-30, M

@Fifidog If he wants to go to a nightclub that is a little suspicious as if I decided I wanted to go to one it would probably be to pick girls up but he might just want to party and get it out of his system because he doesn't get out.. Again though if a guy cheats it is because he is already inclined to do that.

Don't panic, don't throw accussations but honestly it would be healthier for both of you if you both get out and socialise with others instead of being around eachother 24/7.

My girlfriend used to get suspicious of me when I wanted to go out but I need alone time or time around others.. never cheated on her and even when I have been tempted I think about how much my relationship with her means.

Fifidog · 26-30, F

@Misanthropic do you get angry when your gf gets suspicious of you. How do you two handle that cause sometimes we have problems with that too and don’t know how to handle it.