Should you be in a relationship with someone you don’t see marrying?

@Yulianna It's not a matter of knowing before entering the relationship that THIS is the person ... Rather, the question is once you've determined that this is NOT the person, do you stay in a relationship?

"Dating" or "Hanging out" for me is part of a compatibility test, an evaluation of sorts. And if it is determined that we are not a match, then I will certainly stay friends if the other party would want to, but I would no longer date that person.

@sarabee1995 See that makes sense, but the OP's question is sort of open ended.

What is your 'dating time limit' before dumping them and going again......?

Obviously the answer might be a night, a week, a month or longer....but what would be your maximum? I am also assuming sexual compatibility has been reached. 😇

@sarabee1995 🤗 interesting question... if i consider my two long (ish) relationships, Olenna was certainly forever, but we were fifteen years and forever was, like, six months? we were together a little longer than that before she dumped me, on grounds of my selfishness. she was right to do so, although i was shocked and angry at the time.

Oksana, on the other hand, would never have been forever. we both knew that we would live together through the worst of the pandemic, because it suited us. it was mostly good, i can count on the fingers of one hand the occasions when i wanted to strangle her.

and in the end, i mirrored Olenna and broke with Oksana because of what i perceived as her selfishness.

i too was correct.

and so, one night, two night stands... weekends, something to fill empty times.

until you meet someone else, and the merry dance starts again.

@KiwiBird I don't think I have a "time limit," or at least none that I've consciously thought of or set. Relationships must move forward or they stagnate. They can move forward for long periods and then lose steam. They can crash and burn quick. Each is unique.

I've had only three where I felt after six months or more that this could actually be the one. Every other relationship of mine crashed or stagnated well before that. And I think you know all three of the ones I'm thinking of. :)

@Yulianna I remember them both. And yes, both decisions were likely correct. Just as the several who have ended things with me were likely right in expressing how difficult I am to be with. Finding one who knows us well and can still tolerate our presence is the challenge. 🙂

@sarabee1995 🤗 just think, in a decade, more or less, of serious sexual activity, i have had only two serious relationships, amounting to less than two years (if i discount cousin Natalka).

and how many casual partners in that time? i should be ashamed of myself...

but i'm not...

@Yulianna Why give Natalka a discount? 🤣

You're not the only orphan there....University was a time to cut a sexual swath through all and sundry. 😁