When it's good it's good - when it's bad it's bad
See in a relationship when it's good , there's everything good about it , but an arguments start off and another one and another , then your insecurities end up eating you alive and then your trying to fix the relationship and the more then you try to fix the relationship the worse it gets , especially after arguments .
I once before didn't sleep for 36 hours over an argument i had . I knew the relationship was broken but i was in denial about the relationship that it was broken .
I ended up in a bad way for a 1 year and half over it , we both played our part in it , can't be blaming the one person all the time in it cause i did and really what i blamed over was when it was broken up , thats she took my happiness when it ended ......................................
The next chapter was when i was on my own i thought be happy being on my own and basically i never am thats another denial thinking i be happy on my own . Im not as insecure tho and they say you have to meet the right one ....
My only meaning to life (not feeling sorry for myself) is suffering and drink and weed took that away the suffering . That eventually gave up on me also ...............
So whats the meaning of life ......
Very important for a person who dives into religion for happiness is ONE DANGEROUS PLACE TO BE IN .
Reason why ..........
No .1 When you think you find a GOD the human mind can't handle it cause the human EGO takes over and you be thinking you are GOD then . You get very aggressive and strict and causes you more unhappiness...........
Someone told me and it made perfect sense ..
YOU HAVE TO LOSE GOD TO FIND GOD otherwise your looking for an image that you think is GOD.
He said thats most dangerous thing and trick about religion...................
I like saints and i love there dedication what they have to God and Christ and i tried copied there beliefs and it ended up putting me into a huge depression . I can't do it . I tried it .
I lost weight and everything over it in the last few weeks .
Some told me also actually it was St Faustina she said when you try and get close to God you end up getting attacked by 7 other Devils .
It's the Devil of others and the Devils in the mind trying to get close to God...............
Coolio brought out a song - ' As i walk through the valkeys of the shadow of death ' even my mama think my mind is gone " that song .....
And i always thought it was me going through this horrendous suffering and other musicians hit the nail in the head realising im not alone with this ......................
I once before didn't sleep for 36 hours over an argument i had . I knew the relationship was broken but i was in denial about the relationship that it was broken .
I ended up in a bad way for a 1 year and half over it , we both played our part in it , can't be blaming the one person all the time in it cause i did and really what i blamed over was when it was broken up , thats she took my happiness when it ended ......................................
The next chapter was when i was on my own i thought be happy being on my own and basically i never am thats another denial thinking i be happy on my own . Im not as insecure tho and they say you have to meet the right one ....
My only meaning to life (not feeling sorry for myself) is suffering and drink and weed took that away the suffering . That eventually gave up on me also ...............
So whats the meaning of life ......
Very important for a person who dives into religion for happiness is ONE DANGEROUS PLACE TO BE IN .
Reason why ..........
No .1 When you think you find a GOD the human mind can't handle it cause the human EGO takes over and you be thinking you are GOD then . You get very aggressive and strict and causes you more unhappiness...........
Someone told me and it made perfect sense ..
YOU HAVE TO LOSE GOD TO FIND GOD otherwise your looking for an image that you think is GOD.
He said thats most dangerous thing and trick about religion...................
I like saints and i love there dedication what they have to God and Christ and i tried copied there beliefs and it ended up putting me into a huge depression . I can't do it . I tried it .
I lost weight and everything over it in the last few weeks .
Some told me also actually it was St Faustina she said when you try and get close to God you end up getting attacked by 7 other Devils .
It's the Devil of others and the Devils in the mind trying to get close to God...............
Coolio brought out a song - ' As i walk through the valkeys of the shadow of death ' even my mama think my mind is gone " that song .....
And i always thought it was me going through this horrendous suffering and other musicians hit the nail in the head realising im not alone with this ......................
41-45, M
