3 men, 3 different personalities, 3 different flaws
N°1: I was in love with N°1. Still am in a way, but he is unworthy of that love, so I've cut all ties, haven't seen him or talked to him in a year and half now, and I will not talk to him unless we meet by chance somewhere.
I liked the connection we had. We didn't need to talk, we would just look at each other and communicate. I liked how sometimes he was like a vulnerable child that needed my help and affection, other times I was the child and he took care of me, and there were also times when we were equal. I loved all three situations, and I loved him and wanted a lifelong relationship with him, even just as very respectful friends, but he was selfish and didn't want a win-win relationship. He wanted me to lose, so I had to leave
N°2: was such a gentleman, at first, and that's what I liked about him the most. Physically, he was very passionate, very patient, gentle with my body, and someone who wanted to take things slow. I appreciated that, because I had never met anyone so loving of my body and so gentle with it, but as time went on (and that is in fact why we broke up) he started disrespecting me by saying hurtful things, not valuing the efforts I made to make him happy, and by not wanting to make a real effort for me. He wanted me alone to make all the sacrifices, he never tried to do the smallest of real things for me, in 8 years, he never got me a present, and although he was in a far better financial situation than me, he wanted us to split everythign 50/50. I don't mind helping, but for me, a man should make you feel safe in many ways, make you feel that he's got your back, and one of the ways of doing that is by not demanding that you split every little thing 50/50. I was still ok with this money thing, what hurt the most is the disrespect and lack of effort of his side. So we broke up. He started being really distant and thought he could come and go as he liked but I wasn't ok with that, so I said goodbye. I'm still not over it, although we did have closure. I just feel bad sometimes because it didn't work out, but deep down I know that it wasn't right and that breaking up was a the best thing that happened.
N°3: is a good friend, someone who's always ready to help and give advice. Someone who encourages me and wants me to be successful (unlike N°1! ). He's also not cheap like N°2. But he doesn't give enough affection and is more interested in sex (sex that satisfies both parties) than cuddles and hugs (which I want sometimes)
Wanted to write this for myself. It's good to get thoughts out sometimes. I just wonder if it's always going to be like this. Always something missing. I hope not. It would be nice to be in a supportive, loving, respectful, unselfish relationship, but I think it may never happen for me. We'll see
Bye for now
I liked the connection we had. We didn't need to talk, we would just look at each other and communicate. I liked how sometimes he was like a vulnerable child that needed my help and affection, other times I was the child and he took care of me, and there were also times when we were equal. I loved all three situations, and I loved him and wanted a lifelong relationship with him, even just as very respectful friends, but he was selfish and didn't want a win-win relationship. He wanted me to lose, so I had to leave
N°2: was such a gentleman, at first, and that's what I liked about him the most. Physically, he was very passionate, very patient, gentle with my body, and someone who wanted to take things slow. I appreciated that, because I had never met anyone so loving of my body and so gentle with it, but as time went on (and that is in fact why we broke up) he started disrespecting me by saying hurtful things, not valuing the efforts I made to make him happy, and by not wanting to make a real effort for me. He wanted me alone to make all the sacrifices, he never tried to do the smallest of real things for me, in 8 years, he never got me a present, and although he was in a far better financial situation than me, he wanted us to split everythign 50/50. I don't mind helping, but for me, a man should make you feel safe in many ways, make you feel that he's got your back, and one of the ways of doing that is by not demanding that you split every little thing 50/50. I was still ok with this money thing, what hurt the most is the disrespect and lack of effort of his side. So we broke up. He started being really distant and thought he could come and go as he liked but I wasn't ok with that, so I said goodbye. I'm still not over it, although we did have closure. I just feel bad sometimes because it didn't work out, but deep down I know that it wasn't right and that breaking up was a the best thing that happened.
N°3: is a good friend, someone who's always ready to help and give advice. Someone who encourages me and wants me to be successful (unlike N°1! ). He's also not cheap like N°2. But he doesn't give enough affection and is more interested in sex (sex that satisfies both parties) than cuddles and hugs (which I want sometimes)
Wanted to write this for myself. It's good to get thoughts out sometimes. I just wonder if it's always going to be like this. Always something missing. I hope not. It would be nice to be in a supportive, loving, respectful, unselfish relationship, but I think it may never happen for me. We'll see
Bye for now
