How are we supposed to respond if a S.O. is about to abandon us?..

Abandonment is painful..I don’t know if I can behave well when someone is doing it badly. ESP if they make things up instead of talking you about leaving in a calm and sincere way. I would cry, shout at, be angry within our four walls if the other will pick a fight just to make it. How could be an issue? Just when or how it look like..

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Threepio

IDK how you're "supposed to act".....

My experience has always been one of "survival"... IE What do I need to do to survive in the near term.

Whether that is moving funds to a secure account or seeing a lawyer to draw up papers..... a lot depends on the situation.

If there is a lot of fighting (verbal sparing) going on, my advice would be "Get away as fast as possible before it escalates"