Do you suppose

I think that you can truly love people who are not healthy for you or whose circumstances ,or yours ,are not healthy for either ,and so it just doesn't work out long term.
Personally,a lot of the time it feels much easier to maintain healthy relationships with people I have no feelings for ,exactly because of the fact that I am not attached and I have no expectations or needs or wants from those people that are complicated or demanding. And vice versa.
I think that it is even factual ,where most long term relationships work because people are simply compatible ,not because they necessarily have strong feelings for each other ,but because their personalities and lifestyle and timing etc etc work together.
It's a bit of a touchy subject for me because the only times I have truly loved my partners were both cases in which things didn't work out because of circumstances but it doesn't diminish how I feel or have felt . I could choose someone I am simply compatible with ,certainly. And I may in the future, I do not know. But I am too immature at the moment to do so . I guess ideally everyone wants to be with someone who they are both compatible with and also love. But it doesn't seem probable

Elusive, yes. As you said, we are used to a disposable mindset of throwing away what doesn’t work.

And because we give up easily, we never get to appreciate if what we have can develop into something healthier, even deeper and lasting.

We don’t get to the point of identifying that what we had was a real treasure. And because we didn’t know, we didn’t think it was worth our time and effort. If we knew it was a treasure, we would have acted differently.

The disposable mindset molded us into throwing rather than fixing. We don’t want to waste time on something that is not working when we know it’s easier (less waste of time) to replace it.

🌻

If only we could put value on what’s really important.

I think it’s always been elusive. Relationships have always been hard work (for most couples), but people are more eager to throw in the towel these days than in previous generations. “For better or for worse” has been replaced by “for better or divorce” for most people in this generation.

Elusive, no.
Everlasting, yes. Perhaps we weren’t meant to have one “forever” partner, but rather a series of meaningful relationships based on where you were at that time in your life. We are forever growing, evolving, and changing as a person, so it’s hard to imagine any one person doing the same with you and you both remaining compatible. It’s possible, yes, but more the exception rather than the rule, imho.

Yep. Throw someone away because a different, easy, piece of ass walked by. Today's standard.

It's elusive as hell. One of the constants in life and through history is a yearning for simpler, better time that never existed.

Relationships are difficult and most people are by nature, settlers. Very human for people to not want to be alone for very long.

I used to feel that way, but then I realized a lot of my negative dating experiences came about from me having poor boundaries and wasting too much time on the wrong people, especially people who treated me badly or were inconsistent, which prevented me from being open and creating space in my life for the good people.

Now that I’m in that deep and healthy sort of love it doesn’t feel like a pipedream anymore and if for some reason we didn’t work out I can’t imagine setting for less ever again.

Elusive yes, but still possible if you always believe and hope 🙏 ❤️ 🤗🥰

I think both.
Deep and healthy is very rare in the 'long term', when it comes to humans and what our nature is. It doesn't help that many have high expectations of soul mates, etc..

It's more of an idealistic fantasy. It takes a lot to sustain a long term relationship. It's easy when it's new and full of passion and infatuation.

Doesn't seem to be that elusive for some, but one often needs to be realistic about it.
And both need to make the effort.
If not it doesn't work.

And lots of people are scared of commitment, they may feel lots but don't want commitment, for various reasons.

I suppose, society don't know the value and ways of restoring to sustain the mentioned given the life most are leading.

Sad situation. 😂😞