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Meeting up with my ex after about three weeks of no contact. Not sure what to say to her

Not sure what to say. Relationship lasted about three months but was on and off. I (23M) was her (21F) first for almost everything and I guess I made her a bit nervous. I tried to slow things down and did things that'd make her comfortable like meeting some of her family (siblings/cousins) early on but idk. The last time she broke up with me was the day after Christmas- I stayed in the area and she went home (from grad school) so we were talking almost everyday for hours (5+ hours!!) on the phone. One day she finally opens up about how she's really really falling in love with me. Only to tell me a week later that she's sure she wants to end the relationship with me. Left me confused. Bewildered. I had no idea why. Also extremely heartbroken because I love her. I sent her a long message (wasn't mean, but was more like idk if she was lying to me the whole time or is just holding something back from me), and told her not to reply because I wouldn't believe any thing she says at that point. Haven't spoken since then.



My friends encouraged me to stop thinking about her and get back on dating apps. I reluctantly did, matched with someone I would normally find incredibly attractive. Went on one date a few days ago and it was good, but couldn't stop thinking about who I'm truly in love with. On a normal day she would be a really nice girl to be with but I don't want to lead her on. She didn't reply to my text after the date and I thought she ghosted which made things easier for me, but then she texted me today and I haven't replied.



Anyway not to deviate from the point. I couldn't take it anymore and messaged my ex. Asked her if she had a few minutes to talk this weekend. She responded a day later and basically said she'd be free the whole weekend and available to talk to me. Now I'm meeting up with her and I don't even know what to say. On one hand I have to keep my dignity, she can't dump me like that and have me groveling back for her, she won't even respect me if I do that. On the other hand I still have really strong feelings for and I feel like she still does too (within the past few weeks she was trying to talk to me through my friends but I told my friends not to engage her at all). I also know for a fact that she didn't cheat, she's too innocent to (or maybe not idk), I was literally her first kiss. But I feel like our story isn't over yet and I don't really know what to say to her when I meet her this weekend. Can anyone share any ideas?


But yeah after reading, and thinking a lot and wondering what could've gone wrong, I think I'm mentally prepared to move on from her permanently if she doesn't say anything satisfactory this weekend. Problem is, I don't know what to classify as "satisfactory".


Sorry if this doesn't fit the sub.
CallistaSloane · 26-30, F
I don't think anyone could ever tell you exactly what to say. Just want to share with you (based on experience) that you must pursue someone who is sure of you and who actively and willingly wants to be with you. You can't just settle in the limbo. Mindgame is the least you could expect from someone you want to be with. Cheers and goodluck!
somedude15 · 22-25, M
[@1246510,CallistaSloane] you are absolutely right.
Jenny1234 · 51-55, F
She wanted to end it. Is there really a point to meeting up?i hope you don’t end up even more hurt
somedude15 · 22-25, M
[@1220692,Jenny1234] yeah you're right. I think at this point I'm not hell-bent on getting her back. I do want to be with her, yeah, but if she doesn't there's nothing I can do about that. I guess I just want closure. But yes I know I shouldn't go into this expecting anything.
Jenny1234 · 51-55, F
[@595086,somedude15] let me know how it goes
antonioioio · 61-69, M
I asked a friend once, how did he get on so well with people
He replied
The least said, the easiest mended 🤔
Jenny1234Husband · 31-35, M
The first rule of no contact is never break the no contact rule

 
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