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Eternity · 26-30, M
Game isn't something that anyone is born with; it is acquired through trial and error.
If you never fail you will never succeed either.
Most straight males develop their game in late middle school and high school. If you did not come out of your shell during that time then unfortunately your time to build your game is now.
But no time is worse than the future to start so if this is where you are at now then it is what it is. Get after it.
Everyone's approach is unique to them and it is something only you can figure out, but some good rules of thumb to guide you are these:
1) [most important] Women. Are......*drumroll*...humans!
Yes. Shocker. But the fact of the matter is that women are human beings just like you and me and they appreciate the same kind of conversational courtesies that you and I would such as:
-being genuine
-being humble but not self depricating (no one likes to have to pity strangers)
-being honest
-being LISTENED TO [this is a big one dude]
2) Just talk to them without a goal!
You get better at talking to women by talking to women. Start small. Just say hi and smile to 3 in a day.
After that attempt to engage in small talk.
After that attempt a conversation about anything.
Pretty soon you will have made a few female acquaintances and the edge will be worn away from your nerves.
3) Be clear about your intentions.
Whether you just want sex or you want a commitment relationship, you need to find a way to articulate this to a woman eloquently once it is clear that there is a mutual interest between the two of you (and if you aren't sure just ask, once again, women are people).
No one is saying be blunt as a wet rock, just be honest. "I'd like to keep things casual". "I want something serious". Etc.
Even if the one you want isn't interested in what you want from her, there are always more and being candid will win you big points with the others because females have friends and talk just like you do.
Word will get around that you are a decent man.
Number one thing to not do: DON'T BE FAKE!!! You don't need a persona you just need to be you. Sounds corny but it is true
Good luck!
If you never fail you will never succeed either.
Most straight males develop their game in late middle school and high school. If you did not come out of your shell during that time then unfortunately your time to build your game is now.
But no time is worse than the future to start so if this is where you are at now then it is what it is. Get after it.
Everyone's approach is unique to them and it is something only you can figure out, but some good rules of thumb to guide you are these:
1) [most important] Women. Are......*drumroll*...humans!
Yes. Shocker. But the fact of the matter is that women are human beings just like you and me and they appreciate the same kind of conversational courtesies that you and I would such as:
-being genuine
-being humble but not self depricating (no one likes to have to pity strangers)
-being honest
-being LISTENED TO [this is a big one dude]
2) Just talk to them without a goal!
You get better at talking to women by talking to women. Start small. Just say hi and smile to 3 in a day.
After that attempt to engage in small talk.
After that attempt a conversation about anything.
Pretty soon you will have made a few female acquaintances and the edge will be worn away from your nerves.
3) Be clear about your intentions.
Whether you just want sex or you want a commitment relationship, you need to find a way to articulate this to a woman eloquently once it is clear that there is a mutual interest between the two of you (and if you aren't sure just ask, once again, women are people).
No one is saying be blunt as a wet rock, just be honest. "I'd like to keep things casual". "I want something serious". Etc.
Even if the one you want isn't interested in what you want from her, there are always more and being candid will win you big points with the others because females have friends and talk just like you do.
Word will get around that you are a decent man.
Number one thing to not do: DON'T BE FAKE!!! You don't need a persona you just need to be you. Sounds corny but it is true
Good luck!
Eternity · 26-30, M
@Number5 also important that I forgot: rejection will happen. Do NOT flip out. It is normal man. Take it on the chin with pride, respond with class ( if you can't keep it classy it is better to not respond at all), and move on.
Rejection, if handled with dignity and humility, makes you stronger every time it happens.
Rejection, if handled with dignity and humility, makes you stronger every time it happens.