Could you forgive your partner for having an affair ?

I know my husband has had an affair but he doesn't know that I know.
I found out this recently by accident.
Should I forgive him as it happened a few years ago or should I have it out with him although I know he will deny it ?
What would you do ?

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Northwest · M

A relationship can survive an affair, but it's all about the context.

Is this the only affair he had?

Why did he have the affair?

Most importantly, how do you repair the broken trust.

what do you want? Is life with him "comfortable" and "ok", as in you don't really care, because being in a trusting, loving and monogamous relationship still important to you, or is he a "roommate"?

If you do want a real relationship with him, he needs to come clean about everything, and that means every little detail. He needs to cut contact off with the person he cheated with. You need to see a therapist, just you, not as a couple, this is about you and what you decide you can live with.

You also get to pick your own time table, and not be pressured to get things back to "normal".

Good luck.

GLITTER · 36-40, F

@Northwest I agree, the repairing of the trust is the most important part of it. Anything else is control and not fair on the victim. No one should have to live with someone they can no longer trust

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