I Find Honesty and Trust Very Important In Any Relationship
Sometimes, I feel like I'm being manipulated by my husband. Every time I feel like we're evolving or making progress in our relationship, he does something which makes me question his sincerity.
We both have highly stressful jobs, which can make heavy demands on our time. I'll be honest - mine more than his. He complains how I put other things before him, but when he has something pressing or if he's trying to juggle several things at one time, including us, I'm mature and aware enough to understand that sometimes your priorities get rearranged. The love doesn't take a backseat, but momentarily, you might have to.
With that being said, when we both have time available, he always acts bothered or restless when I'm around. Even though he complains when we don't spend time together, when I make an effort, I feel rejected. I feel like I'm encroaching on his space, and it makes me uncomfortable. So, I end up leaving and he brings up the fact that I left.
I think he wants out, but he's precarious. He would have to answer "why?"
His friends and family always tell him how "lucky" he is, but that's subjective. I think he's conflicted: he wants the stability, but he desires freedom; he's very needy, but he does not like demands made on his time; he speaks about our life together in future tense, but comments about needing "me" time now. If you complain that we never spend time, why would you need time alone, now. I'm not one to jump through too many hoops, so this all seems like BS to me.
I have often asked myself, "why don't you leave?" The answer is, I know me. I need him to be honest. I'm a very transparent person, so if I left feeling that the couldn't be honest about his feeling, then I wouldn't have closure.
And ever so often when I am ready to accept and embrace the hard truth, I'll ask him, "Are you happy in this relationship?" "Are you being fulfilled?" With no hesitation, he'll say "yes". I don't think he's telling the truth, but he insists he is. This is so exhausting.
To those of you who have reached out via PM, THANK YOU. Please don't be offended, but I'm typically not one to respond in private. Your comments have not gone unnoticed. I'm a work in progress. This relationship is on its last legs. We have decisions to make, and they need to be made soon. I am starting to feel happier leading my own, separate life and that's not good for us.
We both have highly stressful jobs, which can make heavy demands on our time. I'll be honest - mine more than his. He complains how I put other things before him, but when he has something pressing or if he's trying to juggle several things at one time, including us, I'm mature and aware enough to understand that sometimes your priorities get rearranged. The love doesn't take a backseat, but momentarily, you might have to.
With that being said, when we both have time available, he always acts bothered or restless when I'm around. Even though he complains when we don't spend time together, when I make an effort, I feel rejected. I feel like I'm encroaching on his space, and it makes me uncomfortable. So, I end up leaving and he brings up the fact that I left.
I think he wants out, but he's precarious. He would have to answer "why?"
His friends and family always tell him how "lucky" he is, but that's subjective. I think he's conflicted: he wants the stability, but he desires freedom; he's very needy, but he does not like demands made on his time; he speaks about our life together in future tense, but comments about needing "me" time now. If you complain that we never spend time, why would you need time alone, now. I'm not one to jump through too many hoops, so this all seems like BS to me.
I have often asked myself, "why don't you leave?" The answer is, I know me. I need him to be honest. I'm a very transparent person, so if I left feeling that the couldn't be honest about his feeling, then I wouldn't have closure.
And ever so often when I am ready to accept and embrace the hard truth, I'll ask him, "Are you happy in this relationship?" "Are you being fulfilled?" With no hesitation, he'll say "yes". I don't think he's telling the truth, but he insists he is. This is so exhausting.
To those of you who have reached out via PM, THANK YOU. Please don't be offended, but I'm typically not one to respond in private. Your comments have not gone unnoticed. I'm a work in progress. This relationship is on its last legs. We have decisions to make, and they need to be made soon. I am starting to feel happier leading my own, separate life and that's not good for us.
51-55, F
