Why doesnt Tarzan have a beard ?

Jane shaved him.

In one episode he was shaving with a sharp stone while jane bathed in the river. He was interrupted by a crocodile who almost got her but he clamped it's jaws shut while jane got out of the river and then he killed it. I think

He had to shave it cause the monkeys thought he was one of them and kept trying to hump him

he doesn't want to get confused with the other wildlife...

That is a bloody good question. Genetic deviation?

thats easy, 12 inch poisonous centipedes :) lol

improper diet?

hes gay