I pause here, as the first reading phase is almost concluded, the first phase is the religious. During those years where i thought i was a believer i would crave time spent reading before those god awful duties the day promised, that felt need and treasuring of time for reading is very much carried over to these times and all the times i read.
Last night i had said that i couldn't like most follow along a storyline, and it was suggested that don't read such things, and well it shouldn't bother me to this extent, but it's a matter i wish to expound and address further here.
It is one of my beliefs that one should strive, to stretch one's thinking muscles, so if one is doing something where they're not fully getting it, is a stretch, get it?
If i were to only read what i fully got, i'd be better off being a bird watcher, or a professional sleeper. Folly to be putting the subjects of interest below one's own capacities.
The wishes set forth for certain works of literature to be read are the way and what they are, as it were set in stone regardless of whether i can describe them well or not.
My purpose here is not to summarize and describe what i read, but is verging on the ironical and contradictory.
1 - the need for complete solidarity with the reading project, the reading project is on a personal level the holy of holies to me, and is not open for discussion or careless suggestions as to how i may adjust how things are done.
2 - the need for a community to exist within to type what i may feel like putting out into a kind of public sphere, and see in a limited sense what other people are saying and about what.
see how these 2 contradict, but in a strange and ineluctable manner belong together in an organic being.