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I found this thing from a novel I wrote when I was 14, lol.

Don't love me, I scream internally. 

Even through all the pain my heart carried,  I have never been able to cry.

I was drought. I was empty. 

Any insult, any compliment, I am indifferent to in question of sentiment. 

I know that it hurts. I know that it saddens me. And i know that it breaks my heart. But even then, my eyes don't fog up at all.

Is it possible for a person to cry without tears coming from their eyes? 

Is it really necessary?

It is what i do most nights, days, and evenings. No one noticed because there is no trace of humidity in my eyes.


Don't feel anything for me, I plead.  I am not a trustworthy person. 

I am a person who has lost their soul. I am a person that, since the beginning, has never been able to do anything right. I am an idiot, i know.

Don't look at me, I lie. I want your eyes on me always. 

With your sweet voice, caress me with every desperate note and creak of your throat. I am weak.

Get away from me, it's the best thing, i think. Someone as perfect as you is not someone for me. Nor i for you. Please leave. 

Let everything die, I sigh. My voice breaks, even within my cephalic coat. It's pathetic. I hope you will obey my orders, and that you will stop being so attentive to me, and that you will stop trying to understand all the things i do. 

Do you really want to see me cry for real? I will end as dust, the same way i came into this world. 

I am done warning you. 

Be free, fly without me. I'm sure you'll be  a lovely angel. 

Forget me when the moment comes. Do not fill yourself with me. You are pure. Do not remember me, clean that part of yourself. Erase me completely and totally. Every track, and place in which i have been. 

I do not deserve being in your memories and thoughts. Close your eyes, and do not see me anymore. I am not worthy. 



(Note: I was experimenting with writing in a different language, so this is a literal translation, lol)
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Lol it reminds me of the narrator part they often have in kdramas like when the girl is being dramatic and is talking to herself about how dramatic she’s being. 😆 It’s pretty neat for only being 14 at the time though I couldn’t finish because I’m not going to lie it did make me cringe a bit. I have FanFiction stories and just other stories I wrote when I was around that age too and I can’t even read them because of how cringy and embarrassing they are to me.
SW-User
@Stark Bruh, like, this shit is so bad, but I felt like sharing it 😂 I used to post on fanfiction sites and stuff. Like, I would write straight ass fanfiction for Doctor Who, Avatar the Last Airbender, Death Note, Twilight...it was so bad. It's like looking at an ugly childhood photo.
@SW-User 😂😂 omgggg I would do that shit too but your stories probably would have been some that I would have been into. I can just see me reading this around that time and being so into it 😆
SW-User
@Stark Yeah, and I would write freaking wattpad stories about teacher/student relationships and weird ass stuff. I was freaking wild. Those were strange times...