As I grow older, I'm slowly being very picky with whom I give my energy to. I prefer reserving my energy and time and give it to those people that replicates positivity and sincerity and won't judge you based on their own perception. I prefer choosing quality over quantity and what I mean by that is I choose friends that can understand and motivate me as I tackle my pathway towards success instead of choosing many people that I considered friends but will leave and stab me on the back when you're not beneficial to them anymore. I prefer deep yet meaningful conversations instead of force conversations 🩷 I realized that growing up is not about finding other people that will make you happy but instead its all about finding yourself and finding your own version of happiness within you 🩷🩷🩷 𝓜𝓪𝔂 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓴 𝓫𝓮 𝓯𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓭 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓳𝓸𝔂, 𝓵𝓪𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓬𝓲𝓸𝓾𝓼 𝓶𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓼 🌹🌹🌹
In the last few years, I too, have made a conscious choice to seek quality and honest interactions above all else. I have grown quiet and reserved, and increasingly more reticent with those around me.
I may not know everything, but I do know, if given the chance, people will use and exploit your emotions for their own personal gain. When that's a lesson you learn the hard way, life changes. You change.
It is a good thing...to be more careful with self, and to demand more from the others you let into your life. But, it does create a type of loneliness.
A constant, quieter, less rowdy type of loneliness that hugs you daily, like that cheap, clingy sweater you found one day years ago, on the clearance rack under a K-Mart blue light special. It doesn't fit, and it feels awkward, but it's warm. And safe. And for some reason you can't put your finger on, you are loathe to remove.
Maybe at some point, when I find I can honestly trust again, and with that, the return of the happiness I lost once upon a time, maybe it will all be worth it. Who knows. Until then, I'll remain quiet and withdrawn, and I'll continue to wear the proverbial sweater.
