I like this quote, it's very true.

Where there is more internal fear that we carry, the more external control that will be manifested as. This fear, which is the driving force behind the lower timeline, won't always look like classical fear. It will show up mainly through the lens of fundamentalism in all the many ways that fundamentalism can form an appearance. It will look like the opposite of having discernment, the opposite of having nuance, and therefore the opposite of having compassion. Instead, fundamentalism will create more and more division between everyone until everyone is in a hyperactive state of separation and fear because, once again, the driving force of the lower timeline is the impulse to disperse and fragment consciousness. So, it's one that is keeping itself separate from its environment, from other people, and from everything that will harm its individual ego.

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GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M

Yeah, that resonated with me a lot. I was raised in fear.

SatanBurger · 36-40, F

@GeistInTheMachine Me too. Though I can't say it would be the same as you. My fear was more because well I only have bits and pieces from my childhood but my mom had a brain tumor and in those ages there weren't much options.

But she was a great mother, I mean she would leave me notes telling me how much she loved me. But as much as I want to gloat over her, she also had issues. Like I remember spilling on the carpet and she locked me in a room or I briefly remember that she yelled at me cos I was going to sit on the toilet bare bottom haha.

I remember her freaking out and pointing to the toilet saying there were germs and for quite a long time, I thought I was gonna die of something. I walked around like I had a terminal illness for most of my life.

But I didn't seek anyone's attention, it just that I didn't realize how much it affected me until I was older. I walked and lived like I was dying.

I wash my hands a lot still but this past few years I'm just learning how not to be so clean. It sounds funny saying that but now I'm just more trying to learn how to embrace chaos so to speak because as much as I love my mother, I have to recognize that it wasn't healthy.

But I'm not sure if most of her temper was due to a brain tumor and the OCD she may or may not have had was due to that rather than anything else. So I try to go easy.

GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M

@SatanBurger Ah. I'm sorry about your mother. But it's good you're unpacking all that.

I was raised in a doomsday cult. Fear was their MO. Armageddon was always coming around the corner, and salvation was never secure.

SatanBurger · 36-40, F

@GeistInTheMachine I can imagine being raised in a cult was hard, it's even harder because they become blinded. What cult if you don't mind me asking? You don't gotta say, I also recognize that not every cult is well known either.

But that's really shitty about fear being their thing, their fear shouldn't be placed on anyone else.

GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M

@SatanBurger Jehovah's Witness.

Yeah, as a preteen I thought God hated me and was going to strike me down any minute.

Exciting times.

SatanBurger · 36-40, F

@GeistInTheMachine The feeling is familiar except with me it was sickness.