We sub consciously follow patterns although unproductive but because they are familiar

Because we may wrongfully associate familiarity with safety

[quote]“Children who are surrounded by constant sources of conflict or by family members who demean them, who play favor- ites or who cause friction in their lives in other ways, are by defini- tion emotionally abused and regularly develop damaged relation- ships with their brothers and sisters. Their “unfinished emotional business” is regularly acted out in all areas of their lives, with ev- eryone they meet who may feel important to their well being or whom they fear may threaten it. Their “judgment lens,” their abil- ity to see clearly and assess potential positive and negative rela- tionships, is severely skewed. Of course this observation is true of all damaged relationships in formative years, not only those with siblings.”[/quote]