Are you generous or just an over-giver?

There's a difference.

Something to think about. "When you give and give and give and possibly give some more, it’s because you’re an over-giver. You don’t truly believe that you without the excessive giving is enough."

So we give too much in order to receive praise and attention that then gives us a feeling of esteem. But it's ungrounded esteem, that does not come from within but from without.

Over-giving is also a sign of codependency.

The sky will not fall down if you quit the excessive giving. Start giving a little more to yourself, it's healthier.

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OogieBoogie · F

I feel that I was conditioned as I grew up , to be giving to get attention.
I was only praised when I helped out.

Combined with being told 'forgiveness is a virtue' - it was a one way recipe to 'being used'

I struggled for years with my desire to help others, and be a good person , and forgive those, blah , blah , blah. ..
...all worthy traits , but also 'self sacrificial to destruction' traits.

It was hard to learn to set boundries to each .

Now I give to those who are givers themsleves .
And My forgiveness has a limit .

I wish someone had told me this years ago .

Learning that one's self is a codependent personality is rather degrading and disappointing.
Its also fucking annoying that it is a selfish world that makes such traits a 'bad thing'.