This is a genuine question. I serious don't know. No clue at all...

When you've been hurt - not just a little sting - but deeply and irrevocably hurt, people casually say , "Oh, just let it go". Like that's the easiest thing in the world to do. But it isn't. It's so far from easy. So, tell me...truly...how does that work? Someone just left a gaping wound in your heart that bores all the way into your soul, how do you just "let it go"? How and to what magical place should these emotions just "go"? How do they get there? Does some dusty old genie from a magic lamp fly them away on a magic carpet? Do mystical elves come in and stitch up the damage while you sleep and sweep away the remnants before you wake? Do you set all those emotions in a lawn chair, attach 500 helium balloons, and watch them float up into the sky and out of sight? Do a coven of witches fly in and perform a dark spell - to steal the pain and to make you forget they were ever there? Do angels fly right down from heaven and lay a gentle, warm hand on your heart and heal it as only they can? I mean really...how does that all work? How do the anger and pain just disappear? When it meant something to you, when you felt it from tits to teeth (extra points if you know the silly sitcom that expression came from), when it inherently changed you and has stolen everything in life that you always believed was important...where and how does all that just magically disappear? Because I have no clue. Enlighten me.

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BrandNewMan · 61-69, M

This is a tough thing .. but tougher if you make what you lost to be more than it really was.

Something that made a huge difference for me was coming to see what was really lost. It was very rarely what I really wanted, the potential of what it could have been was never sustained. Instead, there were very conscious decisions not to be an equal partner. Across 3 decades and segments of life in 3 different states, despite all the resources spent on counseling that showed us what was needed.

Ihad to come to grips with the reality of who and what I was really losing to accept letting go.

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M

Its hard. But simple.. You dont "Let it go". (At least I dont) You have the option of moving past it and getting on with the things that need doing today. (Someone still has to do the laundry) busying yourself and filling your time with all the things your previous entanglements didnt leave time for, but keeping busy is the key.
Or, you compartmentalize the issue, and lock it away "for now" to be revisited when you have had a chance to grow some perspective around it..I think we can agree that any decision made in haste is likely to be less than optimal..And there is the possible side benefit of the other party waiting for the fallout, and your non response might scare them..😷

Mindful · 56-60, F

You just wrote a top 20 worthy set of lyrics. You're so right. It's excruciating to lose someone. It's taken me years to get over my break ups and the emotions can still pop up... when I least expect them. Time does help. New experiences help. Stopping one's thoughts and replacing them with new ones helps. In my case, anti depressants helped. Counseling helped. Im just sharing what helped me.

LadyBronte · 61-69, F

@Mindful Thank you for your honest reply and for the compliment. I consciously change errant thoughts when they appear - usually out of the blue. They do pop up and bring me to my knees, still, after all these years. I am working on it as well - but have still never gotten the hang of letting all those negative emotions just fly away like a swarm of bees. 🤷🏼‍♀

morrgin · F

Just let it go? I think those words are correct, but I don't think people who say it mean it that way. When they say to just get let it go they are usually meaning to just get over it, which is dismissive or your emotional pain and of your experience. It adds pain on top of the pain you already have. Letting go of it has to happen on your own terms in your own time and there is a freedom in it when you finally do, but it can still be a depressing process

Horace · M

I can only say that I have found most people are not good at adhering to their own advice.
It's very easy to give advice when it's not you. Most is just phony coddling to get out of town by sundown.

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

Time helps a little bit.
I think you just don't give it time or space in your mind anymore.
Acknowledge it when it comes into your mind ,but choose to go on with life.
It isn't easy and it feels almost impossible but it can be done if it is something you really wish to let go of.
You may need help with why you are hanging on to it, we sometimes don't realize our own motives.

candycane · 36-40, F

for me it was easy,no matter what i had,it was taken away,one more loss was in my eyes normal,

LadyBronte · 61-69, F

@candycane Yep. I let down my guard, which was a huge mistake and believed in someone. That won't happen again.

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