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NativePortlander1970 when I say God I'm talking about God of your understanding. If you believe there is no god, maybe you should imagine God as being the greatest version of yourself that you can be. To get a better picture of this you might want to read the poem by Juan Ramon Jimenez "I am not I"
I am not I. I am this one
walking beside me whom I do not see,
whom at times I manage to visit,
and whom at other times I forget;
the one who remains silent while I talk,
the one who forgives, sweet, when I hate,
the one who takes a walk when I am indoors,
the one who will remain standing when I die.