I Want To Erase Part Of My Past So I Can Finally Be Happy

Even though my parents are not doing it again, it still haunts me down, I'm still scared. I know I have to let go, the sooner I do the sooner I'll be happier, but each time I look at them, the memories, the feelings.... I just started to live and I'm already afraid of life, sometimes I feel like dying, just leaving this world and into the next one, there's only one person that's holding me back, I love him, but I don't think he will love me for long...My own parents haven't, he won't.