I Think Smiles Are Beautiful
It was 6:30 AM when my alarm went off. I had to get in the shower and prepare my mom for surgery. We were to have her there by 8, with the surgery starting at 10. I was so tired, I had 2 hours of sleep last night, my head was pounding, and I had a lot on my mind.
Mom and I got in my car, started driving to the hospital, and I noted how cranky I was. I could blame it on the asshole who made me cry yesterday, I could blame it on the holidays, I could blame it on my lack of sleep. I could blame it on a million things, but it didn't matter; I was cranky. On top of that, mom decided to note aloud that there was snow on the roads and that it might be slick. I tried to not get short with her, because I knew how nervous she was. "I know, Mom," I said. I was cold, hungry, sleepy, and I hadn't had any coffee yet.
We got to the hospital and I shut the car door. Mom got out of the car slower than I had patience for. The wind was blowing so hard, it was still too early for the sun to be rising, and the coldness was more than I can handle. I rolled my eyes, turned towards to hospital, and ran towards the door. By the time I got inside, I had tears literally running down my cheeks from the windchill. My fingers were numb and they hurt. I waited for mom inside the door, watching her walk towards me. I reminded myself to take a chill pill, and to try to reassure her that things would be okay.
We went to the front desk, checked in, and were escorted to the surgery waiting room. It didn't take long for the nurse to call us back and get mom into her gown. By now, my head was getting worse, my stomach was growling, and my sister had met us at the hospital and was already annoying me with her loud voice. Mom was situated in the bed, and I went to the hallway to speak to a nurse. It had seemed things were running behind and I wanted to see how much time I would have to run and grab some breakfast. She said it would probably be about 45 minutes before they would take her to the operating room. I went back to the room and asked my sister if she wanted to go get breakfast.
We grabbed breakfast and brought it back to the hospital. I felt a little better after having my yogurt and coffee, and the sun was finally up. Everyone around me seemed to be in a bitter mood, though, and I was not in the mood for it. Soon enough, we kissed my mom goodbye, told her we'd see her soon, and headed toward the waiting room.
I fell asleep on my sister's shoulder after 10 minutes. I woke up to the nurse letting me know that they were in the middle of the surgery and everything was going well. I took notice of the room around me- reruns of Gunsmoke were on the television, a couple was sitting across the room drinking coffee and murmuring to each other, and two older ladies were sitting on the couch next to me gossiping and giggling. My sister was playing a game on her phone, asking me if I knew the answers to the pictures on the screen.
By now, it was 12:30 and I was hungry again. My sister and I made our way to the cafeteria. The cafeteria was huge. There wasn't much to choose from other than a salad bar and some pre-made sandwiches, cookies, fruit, and some deli food they had prepared and put under a heating lamp. The women working in the cafeteria were absolutely rude and snobby. My sister had already bought her food and was sitting at a table in the lounge area. I walked around the cafeteria looking lost. An employee says, "What are you looking for?", as she stares at my blank face, mirroring my facial image. "Something to eat!" I jokingly said. She replied by grunting and telling me I shouldn't be so picky. I decided to go with the salad bar. I needed another hand, so I took my wallet to my sister, grabbed a $5 bill, and walked past the snot nosed workers.
As soon as I realized how OVER the day I was, I ran into a coffee table with a container of hot water. I have no idea what it was for or why it was sitting there, all I know is that I was embarrassed and felt terrible. I looked at the lady at the register who had no sympathy for me. She shoved the register drawer closed and stomped over to me, grabbing a "wet floor" sign on her way.
"I'm SO sorry," I pleaded, and looked around at all the faces staring at me- employees and nurses, and customers. "It's fine," she said with a sharp tone. With a hot face and a heavy heart, I walked to the salad bar and made my salad. By the time I made my way to the register, the cashier was already back. She flatly said, "Salad on the scale," and looked at the scale. I smiled, and sat my salad down nicely on the grey scale.
"$5.23," She said.
"Oh!" I replied, looking down at my $5 bill. "I'll have to call my sister to have her bring me some more money." I rambled in my pocket for my phone and started dialing her number.
"If she's going to be long, I'm going to have to ask you to step aside. There's a line behind you," she said.
"Oh, okay," I said, stepping aside, offended.
"I've got you," a man behind me said. I turned to look at who he was (as I hung my phone up because my sister didn't answer), and for the first time that day I saw a smile.
The man was a nurse, and argued with me when I insisted he didn't pay for my lunch. "No, no, please," I said, trying to persuade him to stop. "No, really, let me," he said and slid his card. I thanked him repeatedly as he smiled and paid for his own lunch after mine. He smiled at me again, lightly said "have a great day," and walked out of the room.
I smiled and walked to where my sister was sitting. I explained what happened and her reaction was expected. We ate our lunch and I finished up pretty quickly. As I was waiting on her to finish her lunch, I noticed a mother giving a small child some change from her purse. I watched him walk to the cafeteria's ice cream machine. I watched him shyly grab a cup and try to figure out how to put the icecream in the bowl. My sister asked if I was ready to go back upstairs, and I stood up. I threw away my trash and walked up to the cashier (who happened to be a different lady). I explained to her that I was paying for the boy's ice cream and that I wanted her to give the change to him to keep. She smiled and nodded, and my sister and I turned to go up the stairs to the floor my mom was on. I looked back as I neared the top and noticed the little boy's smile as he ran to his mom in excitement.
The rest of the day I made a point to smile and take in what had happened today. Sometimes we forget how contagious smiles are.
Mom and I got in my car, started driving to the hospital, and I noted how cranky I was. I could blame it on the asshole who made me cry yesterday, I could blame it on the holidays, I could blame it on my lack of sleep. I could blame it on a million things, but it didn't matter; I was cranky. On top of that, mom decided to note aloud that there was snow on the roads and that it might be slick. I tried to not get short with her, because I knew how nervous she was. "I know, Mom," I said. I was cold, hungry, sleepy, and I hadn't had any coffee yet.
We got to the hospital and I shut the car door. Mom got out of the car slower than I had patience for. The wind was blowing so hard, it was still too early for the sun to be rising, and the coldness was more than I can handle. I rolled my eyes, turned towards to hospital, and ran towards the door. By the time I got inside, I had tears literally running down my cheeks from the windchill. My fingers were numb and they hurt. I waited for mom inside the door, watching her walk towards me. I reminded myself to take a chill pill, and to try to reassure her that things would be okay.
We went to the front desk, checked in, and were escorted to the surgery waiting room. It didn't take long for the nurse to call us back and get mom into her gown. By now, my head was getting worse, my stomach was growling, and my sister had met us at the hospital and was already annoying me with her loud voice. Mom was situated in the bed, and I went to the hallway to speak to a nurse. It had seemed things were running behind and I wanted to see how much time I would have to run and grab some breakfast. She said it would probably be about 45 minutes before they would take her to the operating room. I went back to the room and asked my sister if she wanted to go get breakfast.
We grabbed breakfast and brought it back to the hospital. I felt a little better after having my yogurt and coffee, and the sun was finally up. Everyone around me seemed to be in a bitter mood, though, and I was not in the mood for it. Soon enough, we kissed my mom goodbye, told her we'd see her soon, and headed toward the waiting room.
I fell asleep on my sister's shoulder after 10 minutes. I woke up to the nurse letting me know that they were in the middle of the surgery and everything was going well. I took notice of the room around me- reruns of Gunsmoke were on the television, a couple was sitting across the room drinking coffee and murmuring to each other, and two older ladies were sitting on the couch next to me gossiping and giggling. My sister was playing a game on her phone, asking me if I knew the answers to the pictures on the screen.
By now, it was 12:30 and I was hungry again. My sister and I made our way to the cafeteria. The cafeteria was huge. There wasn't much to choose from other than a salad bar and some pre-made sandwiches, cookies, fruit, and some deli food they had prepared and put under a heating lamp. The women working in the cafeteria were absolutely rude and snobby. My sister had already bought her food and was sitting at a table in the lounge area. I walked around the cafeteria looking lost. An employee says, "What are you looking for?", as she stares at my blank face, mirroring my facial image. "Something to eat!" I jokingly said. She replied by grunting and telling me I shouldn't be so picky. I decided to go with the salad bar. I needed another hand, so I took my wallet to my sister, grabbed a $5 bill, and walked past the snot nosed workers.
As soon as I realized how OVER the day I was, I ran into a coffee table with a container of hot water. I have no idea what it was for or why it was sitting there, all I know is that I was embarrassed and felt terrible. I looked at the lady at the register who had no sympathy for me. She shoved the register drawer closed and stomped over to me, grabbing a "wet floor" sign on her way.
"I'm SO sorry," I pleaded, and looked around at all the faces staring at me- employees and nurses, and customers. "It's fine," she said with a sharp tone. With a hot face and a heavy heart, I walked to the salad bar and made my salad. By the time I made my way to the register, the cashier was already back. She flatly said, "Salad on the scale," and looked at the scale. I smiled, and sat my salad down nicely on the grey scale.
"$5.23," She said.
"Oh!" I replied, looking down at my $5 bill. "I'll have to call my sister to have her bring me some more money." I rambled in my pocket for my phone and started dialing her number.
"If she's going to be long, I'm going to have to ask you to step aside. There's a line behind you," she said.
"Oh, okay," I said, stepping aside, offended.
"I've got you," a man behind me said. I turned to look at who he was (as I hung my phone up because my sister didn't answer), and for the first time that day I saw a smile.
The man was a nurse, and argued with me when I insisted he didn't pay for my lunch. "No, no, please," I said, trying to persuade him to stop. "No, really, let me," he said and slid his card. I thanked him repeatedly as he smiled and paid for his own lunch after mine. He smiled at me again, lightly said "have a great day," and walked out of the room.
I smiled and walked to where my sister was sitting. I explained what happened and her reaction was expected. We ate our lunch and I finished up pretty quickly. As I was waiting on her to finish her lunch, I noticed a mother giving a small child some change from her purse. I watched him walk to the cafeteria's ice cream machine. I watched him shyly grab a cup and try to figure out how to put the icecream in the bowl. My sister asked if I was ready to go back upstairs, and I stood up. I threw away my trash and walked up to the cashier (who happened to be a different lady). I explained to her that I was paying for the boy's ice cream and that I wanted her to give the change to him to keep. She smiled and nodded, and my sister and I turned to go up the stairs to the floor my mom was on. I looked back as I neared the top and noticed the little boy's smile as he ran to his mom in excitement.
The rest of the day I made a point to smile and take in what had happened today. Sometimes we forget how contagious smiles are.
31-35, F
