Today we had the last bit of sunshine we’ll see for several days.

The accompanying 70° temp set it up to be the false spring my soul desperately needs during the winter months.

And after a night of multiple heavy talks that ranged from finding out my son’s good friend took his own life to him confessing his issues with finances to relocation possibilities that’ll result in four of us needing to find new jobs…it all led to the inability to shut my brain off to get the sleep needed after that kind of exhaustion.

So today I decided to get on the road and detach a little. But apparently I detached more than a little. There’s no deeper detachment than wondering how the hell you got from point A to point B without having any recollection of the journey.

One of my stops resulted in me bringing home the one plant I missed the opportunity to get last year


…and a trip to the water…a visit that hasn’t happened since we lost our beloved coworker who called this bay home and is the same one I often turn my eyes to when the chaos of my summer work season becomes too much.



My mind drifted quite a bit today to the unwanted and emotional conversations of last night, which I didn’t want to happen on what I was determined to declare a beautiful day. I had the music loud, but not a single lyric rolled off my lips. My mind was that occupied with other things.

But in this moment with the water there was nothing but…silence.

No questions.
No what if’s.
No heaviness.
No heartache.
No fear.

Only the calm in front of me existed as I noticed the continuation of the gentle flow despite the little battles that may be raging underneath the surface. A subtle but powerful correcting of appreciating the chaos and peace can coexist together but it’s up to me to choose what I focus my energy on. And knowing I’ve done all I can do right now, I choose the calm…and I think in that moment she chose that for me too. She has that way about her 😌