I Want to Be Positive About Life
In august I got made redundant. It hit me like a steam train. Thankfully I kept it together and found a new job almost straight away but that I couldn't actually start until early September but that was ok as my old job paid me until the end of august. I started his new job and although it was supposed to be full time hours didn't come through with that straight away, so more panic there plus ongoing problems with a neighbour and the block of flats I live in.
Slowly though things seem to be sorting themselves out. The hours are coming in now, and although I don't earn as much as I did at my old job I'm getting by. I've laid down the law to my neighbour and he so far seems to be being less of a prick. Plus my landlord seems to be finally getting stuff with the flat sorted.
Things are still not brilliant. My current job is on a zero hours contract so I don't have the security of knowing I'll definitely be in work regularly plus the shifts are mental and the work is tedious and occasionally unpleasant. I just want to earn a little bit more and have regular set hours so I can plan a social life.
One good thing about all this is its woke me up to what I should be doing and I've got a plan. If I get better paid more regular work I'll look for a better flat, get some decent furniture and set it up properly so I can invite people round. There's a girl I like but don't really know that well. I'd love to take her out for a drink or invite her round for dinner to get to know her better, even as just a friend, but my current flats so bloody awful I'd be embarrassed for her to see where I live. I should have moved somewhere better ages ago but couldn't be arsed. I could also invite mates round I've not seen for a bit for beers and telly. I could start hiking again, plan nights out, going to gigs and all that. I'm applying for jobs when right ones turn up.
Recently I applied for a great one working for a charity in a role I'd be good at and where I can make positive changes to the lives of other people. I passed a pre interview CV submission and I'm just waiting to see if I get called for an interview, though my application has been in for nearly a week now - though they have said that it may take up to two weeks to get back to me. It's all fingers crossed but every day I don't hear back I get despondant. This is the last piece of the puzzle I need to fall into place and I can afford the time and money to start moving my life forward.
Get a better flat, get to know this girl, plan a couple of holidays, go out and see people, also achieve a few goals I've not got round to like doing a long distance hike for charity, run a marathon, again for charity. Even if this job doesn't come through I know I can apply for others, I just need now to move on from what was, still is, a pretty disastrous period in my life. It's been horrendous, terrifying loss, hard work, tiring, going without sleep juggling the mad hours of my new job and a second part time job I have in conjunction with my old one that I love doing and can't give up.
I just need this last piece of the puzzle to fall into place. I need it so much. Other than in a few real dark moments I've been positive about it all and kept going. I just need this last thing, and I have to admit I'm getting so impatient.
Slowly though things seem to be sorting themselves out. The hours are coming in now, and although I don't earn as much as I did at my old job I'm getting by. I've laid down the law to my neighbour and he so far seems to be being less of a prick. Plus my landlord seems to be finally getting stuff with the flat sorted.
Things are still not brilliant. My current job is on a zero hours contract so I don't have the security of knowing I'll definitely be in work regularly plus the shifts are mental and the work is tedious and occasionally unpleasant. I just want to earn a little bit more and have regular set hours so I can plan a social life.
One good thing about all this is its woke me up to what I should be doing and I've got a plan. If I get better paid more regular work I'll look for a better flat, get some decent furniture and set it up properly so I can invite people round. There's a girl I like but don't really know that well. I'd love to take her out for a drink or invite her round for dinner to get to know her better, even as just a friend, but my current flats so bloody awful I'd be embarrassed for her to see where I live. I should have moved somewhere better ages ago but couldn't be arsed. I could also invite mates round I've not seen for a bit for beers and telly. I could start hiking again, plan nights out, going to gigs and all that. I'm applying for jobs when right ones turn up.
Recently I applied for a great one working for a charity in a role I'd be good at and where I can make positive changes to the lives of other people. I passed a pre interview CV submission and I'm just waiting to see if I get called for an interview, though my application has been in for nearly a week now - though they have said that it may take up to two weeks to get back to me. It's all fingers crossed but every day I don't hear back I get despondant. This is the last piece of the puzzle I need to fall into place and I can afford the time and money to start moving my life forward.
Get a better flat, get to know this girl, plan a couple of holidays, go out and see people, also achieve a few goals I've not got round to like doing a long distance hike for charity, run a marathon, again for charity. Even if this job doesn't come through I know I can apply for others, I just need now to move on from what was, still is, a pretty disastrous period in my life. It's been horrendous, terrifying loss, hard work, tiring, going without sleep juggling the mad hours of my new job and a second part time job I have in conjunction with my old one that I love doing and can't give up.
I just need this last piece of the puzzle to fall into place. I need it so much. Other than in a few real dark moments I've been positive about it all and kept going. I just need this last thing, and I have to admit I'm getting so impatient.
46-50, M
