A tribute to my wonderful dad "Clancy" ( My father and my hero )
Last night I came across an old photo and I was surprised, I had forgotten how drop dead gorgeous he was back in the 30's. His jet black wavy hair, those sparkling deep green eye's. He never came straight out and told me he was gay, it wasn't until after he died and mom gave me a book of poetry he had written to his former lover "Paul"
Mom had alway's known he was gay but never mentioned it either. Dad was a highly regarded professional man and I know of dozens of his former employees who adored him. I never studied management in college, my skills were all from lessons I learned from dad. The greatest lesson being the importance of EMPOWERING your staff, focusing on their strengths and taking the time to help them grow these strengths so that they could go on to better job opportunities.
My dad was one of the first in his field to hire gay's, women, and blacks, to management positions. There were corporate leaders who warned dad that hiring these folks would result in losing a great number of consumers, instead, his consumer base actually increased as did productivity. Because he had dealt with the stigma of being gay in a time they were considered mentally ill, and "perverted" dad learned the importance of empathy to ALL minorities. taking such a risk actually paid off in terms of his own personal income and he was able to start his own thriving business.
In the late 60's he opened a high -end fine wines and liquors store in the heart of the Palm Springs "movie colony" much of his regular customers read like the "Who is who" of Hollywood, he was great friends with Gene Autry, and Kirk Douglas and others. Dad alway's put his arm around everyone he came in contact with and would take a moment to tell them a funny story. It didn't matter if they were rich and famous or a homeless raggedy old wino, dad loved everyone. ( He would sometimes give a wino a free bottle of wine not to encourage their dependency he just hated seeing them suffer)
Through workshops and independent studies, dad became an expert on the art of identifying, tasting, and creating great wine cellers to the famous folks he catered to. Gene Autry spent more time in my dads office than he did in his own hotel simply because he and dad were both down to earth common folk who just loved writing cowboy stories of the old west.
At night, driving home, he would sometimes come across cats that had been abandoned on the side of the road. He would rescue them and take them home, My would would say, "Oh god Clancy, not another one?" but she was actually ok with it. At one time, he had about 14 cats living in his downstairs rec. room he would try and find homes (but never tried too hard) he hated giving up a single cat. He would take long walks outside in the desert behind the house with a long line of kitties trailing behind him.
Dad was an agnostic with no time for religion, yet he was so close to the earth and nature. He told me once, " David, even the rocks can talk" (I never really understood that) but he stressed how everything has an energy, a vibration, nothing is more important just love. Dad also loved my various boyfriends and supported them and our relationship which for a few, he was the only father figure they ever really knew.
Dad loved adventure and exploring so my brothers and I got to explore many of the old mining towns of So.Ca. and if we said , "Hey dad, where to you suppose that dirt road goes?" He would say, "I have no idea let's find out" so off we would go, not in some off- road vehicle, but his shiny newer caddie, or Mercedes, he would wait as we kids would move boulders or scrub out of the way, the idea of adventure meant more to him than whatever car.
If I have achieved anything of value either personally or professionally in my life, it is because I have tried to be the man my dad was. Gay or straight, the true measure of manliness is NOT his sexuality, but his capacity to love.
I love you dad, I am grateful for being your son.
Mom had alway's known he was gay but never mentioned it either. Dad was a highly regarded professional man and I know of dozens of his former employees who adored him. I never studied management in college, my skills were all from lessons I learned from dad. The greatest lesson being the importance of EMPOWERING your staff, focusing on their strengths and taking the time to help them grow these strengths so that they could go on to better job opportunities.
My dad was one of the first in his field to hire gay's, women, and blacks, to management positions. There were corporate leaders who warned dad that hiring these folks would result in losing a great number of consumers, instead, his consumer base actually increased as did productivity. Because he had dealt with the stigma of being gay in a time they were considered mentally ill, and "perverted" dad learned the importance of empathy to ALL minorities. taking such a risk actually paid off in terms of his own personal income and he was able to start his own thriving business.
In the late 60's he opened a high -end fine wines and liquors store in the heart of the Palm Springs "movie colony" much of his regular customers read like the "Who is who" of Hollywood, he was great friends with Gene Autry, and Kirk Douglas and others. Dad alway's put his arm around everyone he came in contact with and would take a moment to tell them a funny story. It didn't matter if they were rich and famous or a homeless raggedy old wino, dad loved everyone. ( He would sometimes give a wino a free bottle of wine not to encourage their dependency he just hated seeing them suffer)
Through workshops and independent studies, dad became an expert on the art of identifying, tasting, and creating great wine cellers to the famous folks he catered to. Gene Autry spent more time in my dads office than he did in his own hotel simply because he and dad were both down to earth common folk who just loved writing cowboy stories of the old west.
At night, driving home, he would sometimes come across cats that had been abandoned on the side of the road. He would rescue them and take them home, My would would say, "Oh god Clancy, not another one?" but she was actually ok with it. At one time, he had about 14 cats living in his downstairs rec. room he would try and find homes (but never tried too hard) he hated giving up a single cat. He would take long walks outside in the desert behind the house with a long line of kitties trailing behind him.
Dad was an agnostic with no time for religion, yet he was so close to the earth and nature. He told me once, " David, even the rocks can talk" (I never really understood that) but he stressed how everything has an energy, a vibration, nothing is more important just love. Dad also loved my various boyfriends and supported them and our relationship which for a few, he was the only father figure they ever really knew.
Dad loved adventure and exploring so my brothers and I got to explore many of the old mining towns of So.Ca. and if we said , "Hey dad, where to you suppose that dirt road goes?" He would say, "I have no idea let's find out" so off we would go, not in some off- road vehicle, but his shiny newer caddie, or Mercedes, he would wait as we kids would move boulders or scrub out of the way, the idea of adventure meant more to him than whatever car.
If I have achieved anything of value either personally or professionally in my life, it is because I have tried to be the man my dad was. Gay or straight, the true measure of manliness is NOT his sexuality, but his capacity to love.
I love you dad, I am grateful for being your son.
