One of my coworkers said to me yesterday
"You are a happy person."
Am I?
Maybe?
I feel like I don't usually post happy things here, but then again, I tend to post what is rolling through my head at any given time. A lot of that is me processing things that are not always so happy.
I am friendly and cheerful face to face with people. Unless they have done me dirty, and even if they have, I still try to provide decency. Even to my shitty coworker. I told the new trainee that he may want to help with the stoner tanks because they are heavy and she often needs help. I did warn him that once he did it, it would become his job, but that choice was up to him. That it would be something that would help her out. I didn't have to do that, but I know how miserable it is having a task you can't physically do and not getting help.
Online, I'm a little less friendly. I trust people less online, so here, I probably seem a bit cold, distance, rude, abrupt etc. Online, I do say what I feel and what I mean. This is where I have gotten my strength to stand up for myself in real life. To be able to say, "Your behavior sucks and I don't like it. Go away." And trust me, for me, that's been a big deal.
But when I think of who I am at my base, i think i am happy. I'm content, pleased with all I have been able to accomplish in my life and when I look back, i really don't have any regrets other than that I was not the person I am know and let bad situations last way too long because I was afraid to stand up for myself.
I feel like a whole person, something I never felt growing up. It fits well and overall, I guess that does make me happy.
Maybe my coworker is right afterall.
Am I?
Maybe?
I feel like I don't usually post happy things here, but then again, I tend to post what is rolling through my head at any given time. A lot of that is me processing things that are not always so happy.
I am friendly and cheerful face to face with people. Unless they have done me dirty, and even if they have, I still try to provide decency. Even to my shitty coworker. I told the new trainee that he may want to help with the stoner tanks because they are heavy and she often needs help. I did warn him that once he did it, it would become his job, but that choice was up to him. That it would be something that would help her out. I didn't have to do that, but I know how miserable it is having a task you can't physically do and not getting help.
Online, I'm a little less friendly. I trust people less online, so here, I probably seem a bit cold, distance, rude, abrupt etc. Online, I do say what I feel and what I mean. This is where I have gotten my strength to stand up for myself in real life. To be able to say, "Your behavior sucks and I don't like it. Go away." And trust me, for me, that's been a big deal.
But when I think of who I am at my base, i think i am happy. I'm content, pleased with all I have been able to accomplish in my life and when I look back, i really don't have any regrets other than that I was not the person I am know and let bad situations last way too long because I was afraid to stand up for myself.
I feel like a whole person, something I never felt growing up. It fits well and overall, I guess that does make me happy.
Maybe my coworker is right afterall.
